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Need some advice. 3YO non verbal son...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 389893" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Hi and Welcome! Glad you found us, but sorry you needed to, Know what I mean?? </p><p> </p><p>As far as spanking, it really doesn't help anything. I think many of us tried it at one time or another, but mostly it just teaches our difficult children that it is okay to hit if the person is smaller/younger than you. That is by and large the lesson an autistic person is going to learn from spanking. There really are other ways to help.</p><p> </p><p>Have you read "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene? It gives you a different way to parent, one that seems counter intuitive but is really really effective. I also recommend checking out the various Love and Logic parenting books. Their website, <a href="http://www.loveandlogic.com" target="_blank">www.loveandlogic.com</a>, has descriptions of all of their books so you can see which will fit your situation best. L&L truly is amazing with even the most difficult kids. It advocates using natural and logical consequences while strengthening the loving bond between parent and child. The website has a lot of info so be sure you look around all of it - even the stuff for teachers can be very helpful. I would imagine that their book for special needs kids and the Magic for Early Childhood book would be the best ones for you right now, but take a look at each of them. Go ahead and call them if you have questions - they are super nice and will help all they can.</p><p> </p><p>Have you used visual schedules and other tools like that to help your son understand what is expected of him? For the most part kids really do want to make parents happy. They don't WANT to misbehave but sometimes they truly cannot help it because of a disability. You are going to need some really in depth help with your son. </p><p> </p><p>What doctors have you seen to evaluate and test him? Have you seen a developmental pediatrician? They would be the docs I would seek out as they go through a LOT of training to learn how to diagnose and treat children like your son. I also strongly recommend neuropsychologists to do complete testing (as complete as they can given his age and non-verbal status) to try to identify exactly what the problems are. There are a LOT of resources for autistic kids but you need that diagnosis to access them. the "I think" diagnosis really is not helpful as it won't open any doors to treatment. Seek out a dev pediatrician and neuropsychologist to get a diagnosis so that you can get all the interventions possible. Early intervention is the key to helping an autistic person reach their full potential.</p><p> </p><p>Have you checked into Head Start and Early Head Start and Early Interventions? these programs should give you a LOT of help including free daycare designed to handle his problems and help him learn. Given his nonverbal status most Head Starts will find a classroom to help him ASAP - and this will not cost you a penny. </p><p> </p><p>Others here will give you a lot more info. I do want to suggest writing a Parent Report - there is a link in my signature that will take you to it. The Parent Report is a document you write using an outline that moms here created so that we could keep ALL the info about our kids organized and in one place. It makes communicaating with docs and teachers and everyone else a bit easier and keeps everything written down. it can be a real lifesaver in terms of making sure the history, etc... are correct when you talk to docs. with-o it I had one therapist who INSISTED that my son HAD to be adopted because only adopted kids acted like he did, or so she claimed. We were stuck working through her for some things so I made her boss accept the Parent Report history and tell this therapist to stop harping on adoption. We had a good laugh about her, difficult child and I, because he looks EXACTLY like his little bro and very very much like his older cousin on husband's side. </p><p> </p><p>Anyway, I am happy to meet you!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 389893, member: 1233"] Hi and Welcome! Glad you found us, but sorry you needed to, Know what I mean?? As far as spanking, it really doesn't help anything. I think many of us tried it at one time or another, but mostly it just teaches our difficult children that it is okay to hit if the person is smaller/younger than you. That is by and large the lesson an autistic person is going to learn from spanking. There really are other ways to help. Have you read "The Explosive Child" by Ross Greene? It gives you a different way to parent, one that seems counter intuitive but is really really effective. I also recommend checking out the various Love and Logic parenting books. Their website, [URL="http://www.loveandlogic.com"]www.loveandlogic.com[/URL], has descriptions of all of their books so you can see which will fit your situation best. L&L truly is amazing with even the most difficult kids. It advocates using natural and logical consequences while strengthening the loving bond between parent and child. The website has a lot of info so be sure you look around all of it - even the stuff for teachers can be very helpful. I would imagine that their book for special needs kids and the Magic for Early Childhood book would be the best ones for you right now, but take a look at each of them. Go ahead and call them if you have questions - they are super nice and will help all they can. Have you used visual schedules and other tools like that to help your son understand what is expected of him? For the most part kids really do want to make parents happy. They don't WANT to misbehave but sometimes they truly cannot help it because of a disability. You are going to need some really in depth help with your son. What doctors have you seen to evaluate and test him? Have you seen a developmental pediatrician? They would be the docs I would seek out as they go through a LOT of training to learn how to diagnose and treat children like your son. I also strongly recommend neuropsychologists to do complete testing (as complete as they can given his age and non-verbal status) to try to identify exactly what the problems are. There are a LOT of resources for autistic kids but you need that diagnosis to access them. the "I think" diagnosis really is not helpful as it won't open any doors to treatment. Seek out a dev pediatrician and neuropsychologist to get a diagnosis so that you can get all the interventions possible. Early intervention is the key to helping an autistic person reach their full potential. Have you checked into Head Start and Early Head Start and Early Interventions? these programs should give you a LOT of help including free daycare designed to handle his problems and help him learn. Given his nonverbal status most Head Starts will find a classroom to help him ASAP - and this will not cost you a penny. Others here will give you a lot more info. I do want to suggest writing a Parent Report - there is a link in my signature that will take you to it. The Parent Report is a document you write using an outline that moms here created so that we could keep ALL the info about our kids organized and in one place. It makes communicaating with docs and teachers and everyone else a bit easier and keeps everything written down. it can be a real lifesaver in terms of making sure the history, etc... are correct when you talk to docs. with-o it I had one therapist who INSISTED that my son HAD to be adopted because only adopted kids acted like he did, or so she claimed. We were stuck working through her for some things so I made her boss accept the Parent Report history and tell this therapist to stop harping on adoption. We had a good laugh about her, difficult child and I, because he looks EXACTLY like his little bro and very very much like his older cousin on husband's side. Anyway, I am happy to meet you! [/QUOTE]
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Need some advice. 3YO non verbal son...
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