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Need some advice. 3YO non verbal son...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 390826" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I mentioned Compics, Mama. That's what they were called for me. We were given sheets and sheets of them. At the time difficult child 3 was spending three days out of five in family-based child care, and his carer was marvellous with him. We also had some help from a Speech Pathologist who showed her how to use the Compics with difficult child 3. But about that time, I discovered that he responded better to just the written word, once he had learned it from the Compic. He wouldn't respond to the picture unless it also had the word written on it. He was about 18 months at the time.</p><p>I realise this was unusual, but that's my point - you do what works and don't use what doesn't. But don't throw stuff out, because what doesn't work one day might work at a later stage. However, for us, by the time we began to use the Compics, difficult child 3 had personally already progressed (?) to a different point, of actually reading the words. Or trying to. Mind you, he was reading years before he was toilet-trained. So sometimes you get really odd capabilities coupled with strange inabilities. You can't force learning of a skill where their brains are not ready; but the brain can be ready for some amazing things in other areas. It's called splinter skills and is one of the amazing, wonderful things about autism.</p><p></p><p>Mama, I note the disability spread in your kids - do keep an open mind on this, always, despite what diagnosis you get given; difficult child 1 was 14 before we were finally able to identify that he had Asperger's. If one of your kids has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in any form, and other kids have "oddities", then chances are high that it could also be Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). In our case, difficult child 3 has autism; difficult child 1 has Asperger's. Both boys also have ADHD (which of course could simply be part of the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) manifestation in them). Their sister easy child 2/difficult child 2 is, we now believe, Aspie. But being female it is harder to diagnose. She is now 24 and is very much adapted (which also makes diagnosis harder). She has ADD, anxiety, Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). And an IQ in the stratosphere which nevertheless eventually failed to show much brilliance in the final years of high school.</p><p>The oldest, easy child, does not have a diagnosis and functions normally. But there are also anxiety issues there which we used to ascribe to environmental factors. These days I'm not so sure.</p><p></p><p>We were told that Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) symptoms will generally be found to some degree in family members, especially siblings. Another common finding is high IQ in family members. Both husband & I are somewhat above average IQ, although our testing was done through schools in our youth and at a time when the families and children were never told the actual IQ score. The most we were ever told was "above 120". Schools graded their top classes according to "above 120" and I noted every time I changed schools, even after doing badly at a previous school and being in the bottom grades, I was immediately put into the top class again. WHich told me it was probably a tad above the 120 mark. Of course, I now realise that this sort of test result is meaningless - any result that far out of the norm is not accurate. However, in the same sort of tests, all my kids (plus myself and husband) get the same sort of scores. They do say that family members tend to be within 10 IQ points of one another; I think it is partly genetic, of course, and very much living together in the same environment. Plus we select partners who match us. I found this useful information when it comes to working with the children - I always treated them as smart, even if we were told they were not. difficult child 3's first testing was very pessimistic; we were told he was "retarded". "Borderline" was the term used. We were prepared to accept this, but we did not change our dealings with difficult child 3. Ironically, if he had been given his test in writing, he would have passed it. It was a classic example of "if you IQ test a kid verbally, and that kid has receptive language delay and even worse expressive language delay, you will not get an accurate result."</p><p></p><p>IQ testing is only as accurate as the situation. It was not developed to do what it is being asked to do these days; all IQ testing is based on a system of assessing everyone and working out where they fit in together with everyone else who was tested. And in the initial testing, certain people would not have been included. Testing was arranged through mainstream schools, and back in the 20s, 30s and 40s, kids like ours would probably never have gone to mainstream schools. I know difficult child 3 would not have; probably not difficult child 1 either. So these tests are being adapted for these "oddities" but only adapted; nothing has been completely re-done. The basis is still the same.</p><p></p><p>So if/when you have your very different child IQ-tested, use the information wisely, but do not view the score as locked in stone. A high score cannot be faked; but a lower score than the child's actual intelligence is a common result.</p><p></p><p>We always treated our kids as if they were brilliant. And presto! They are. </p><p></p><p>An example - I have an adult friend, my age. She has now written a book, with my encouragement. When I met her she was uneducated and almost illiterate. But she managed to get words onto a page well enough for me to (mostly) decipher what she was trying to say. I then rang her up and got her to talk to me while I typed. Her book materialised. It was hard work for both of us. She bought herself a computer and taught herself to use it. She has done no courses, I don't think she would learn very easily doing a course, plus her physical handicaps make attending a course almost impossible for her. But she has now written another book, and this time it is easy for me to read through, it has few spelling mistakes and I can see where the sentences begin and end. She rings me often just to stay in touch and is one of the few people who rang me at least once a week to ask how my cancer treatment was going. I have always treated her as my intellectual equal and whenever she said, "But I'm stupid," I reminded her that she has achieved amazing things in her life, through her own determination.</p><p></p><p>People become what you treat them as. And progress continues into adulthood and through adulthood.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 390826, member: 1991"] I mentioned Compics, Mama. That's what they were called for me. We were given sheets and sheets of them. At the time difficult child 3 was spending three days out of five in family-based child care, and his carer was marvellous with him. We also had some help from a Speech Pathologist who showed her how to use the Compics with difficult child 3. But about that time, I discovered that he responded better to just the written word, once he had learned it from the Compic. He wouldn't respond to the picture unless it also had the word written on it. He was about 18 months at the time. I realise this was unusual, but that's my point - you do what works and don't use what doesn't. But don't throw stuff out, because what doesn't work one day might work at a later stage. However, for us, by the time we began to use the Compics, difficult child 3 had personally already progressed (?) to a different point, of actually reading the words. Or trying to. Mind you, he was reading years before he was toilet-trained. So sometimes you get really odd capabilities coupled with strange inabilities. You can't force learning of a skill where their brains are not ready; but the brain can be ready for some amazing things in other areas. It's called splinter skills and is one of the amazing, wonderful things about autism. Mama, I note the disability spread in your kids - do keep an open mind on this, always, despite what diagnosis you get given; difficult child 1 was 14 before we were finally able to identify that he had Asperger's. If one of your kids has Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) in any form, and other kids have "oddities", then chances are high that it could also be Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). In our case, difficult child 3 has autism; difficult child 1 has Asperger's. Both boys also have ADHD (which of course could simply be part of the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) manifestation in them). Their sister easy child 2/difficult child 2 is, we now believe, Aspie. But being female it is harder to diagnose. She is now 24 and is very much adapted (which also makes diagnosis harder). She has ADD, anxiety, Sensory Integration Disorder (SID), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). And an IQ in the stratosphere which nevertheless eventually failed to show much brilliance in the final years of high school. The oldest, easy child, does not have a diagnosis and functions normally. But there are also anxiety issues there which we used to ascribe to environmental factors. These days I'm not so sure. We were told that Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) symptoms will generally be found to some degree in family members, especially siblings. Another common finding is high IQ in family members. Both husband & I are somewhat above average IQ, although our testing was done through schools in our youth and at a time when the families and children were never told the actual IQ score. The most we were ever told was "above 120". Schools graded their top classes according to "above 120" and I noted every time I changed schools, even after doing badly at a previous school and being in the bottom grades, I was immediately put into the top class again. WHich told me it was probably a tad above the 120 mark. Of course, I now realise that this sort of test result is meaningless - any result that far out of the norm is not accurate. However, in the same sort of tests, all my kids (plus myself and husband) get the same sort of scores. They do say that family members tend to be within 10 IQ points of one another; I think it is partly genetic, of course, and very much living together in the same environment. Plus we select partners who match us. I found this useful information when it comes to working with the children - I always treated them as smart, even if we were told they were not. difficult child 3's first testing was very pessimistic; we were told he was "retarded". "Borderline" was the term used. We were prepared to accept this, but we did not change our dealings with difficult child 3. Ironically, if he had been given his test in writing, he would have passed it. It was a classic example of "if you IQ test a kid verbally, and that kid has receptive language delay and even worse expressive language delay, you will not get an accurate result." IQ testing is only as accurate as the situation. It was not developed to do what it is being asked to do these days; all IQ testing is based on a system of assessing everyone and working out where they fit in together with everyone else who was tested. And in the initial testing, certain people would not have been included. Testing was arranged through mainstream schools, and back in the 20s, 30s and 40s, kids like ours would probably never have gone to mainstream schools. I know difficult child 3 would not have; probably not difficult child 1 either. So these tests are being adapted for these "oddities" but only adapted; nothing has been completely re-done. The basis is still the same. So if/when you have your very different child IQ-tested, use the information wisely, but do not view the score as locked in stone. A high score cannot be faked; but a lower score than the child's actual intelligence is a common result. We always treated our kids as if they were brilliant. And presto! They are. An example - I have an adult friend, my age. She has now written a book, with my encouragement. When I met her she was uneducated and almost illiterate. But she managed to get words onto a page well enough for me to (mostly) decipher what she was trying to say. I then rang her up and got her to talk to me while I typed. Her book materialised. It was hard work for both of us. She bought herself a computer and taught herself to use it. She has done no courses, I don't think she would learn very easily doing a course, plus her physical handicaps make attending a course almost impossible for her. But she has now written another book, and this time it is easy for me to read through, it has few spelling mistakes and I can see where the sentences begin and end. She rings me often just to stay in touch and is one of the few people who rang me at least once a week to ask how my cancer treatment was going. I have always treated her as my intellectual equal and whenever she said, "But I'm stupid," I reminded her that she has achieved amazing things in her life, through her own determination. People become what you treat them as. And progress continues into adulthood and through adulthood. Marg [/QUOTE]
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