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Need some advice...Court tomorrow
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 653580" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>I am so glad that you are doing some things that you enjoy. It's a good thing to start reclaiming your life.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>You are wise to have these thoughts and keep them in check. It's not good to push our emotions down because they will eventually come out and usually not in a good way. I'm not sure that is what you are doing because you are aware of it. Usually when you push your emotions down it's part of denial. I don't think you are in any kind of denial about your daughter. You have come to a place of acceptance which allows you to let go.</p><p>There will be times when you will feel your emotions and when those times come you draw on the skills you have learned and you get through it. I remember times early on when I would meet new people and they would ask "do you have any children", I used to dread that question because it's always followed with another question "what does your son do". I remember one time I told this perfect stranger, "well he does jail really well" as soon as I said it I wanted to crawl under a rock. This guy gave a nervous laugh and made his exit. The emotions would dwell up in me but I would maintain control until I was alone, sometimes I would cry and sometimes I would just be so angry at him for putting me in this situation. I felt ashamed and worried what people would think of me. Part of this journey of taking our lives back is letting go of the shame. I no longer dread being asked that question and I certainly do not care what people think. There is so much freedom in letting all of that go.</p><p>I don't have much contact with my son anymore, at most a few times a year, sometimes more. Usually when I do hear from him it's because he's in jail. At those times the emotions will come up again but I draw on the skills I've learned and am able to deal with it. I've been dealing with my Difficult Child for 20 years and I still learn new ways to deal with all of it. We never stop learning, we never stop loving but we do stop worrying.</p><p></p><p><img src="https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/d4/56/fb/d456fbc07102640fd1c44f008bef163f.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 653580, member: 18516"] I am so glad that you are doing some things that you enjoy. It's a good thing to start reclaiming your life. You are wise to have these thoughts and keep them in check. It's not good to push our emotions down because they will eventually come out and usually not in a good way. I'm not sure that is what you are doing because you are aware of it. Usually when you push your emotions down it's part of denial. I don't think you are in any kind of denial about your daughter. You have come to a place of acceptance which allows you to let go. There will be times when you will feel your emotions and when those times come you draw on the skills you have learned and you get through it. I remember times early on when I would meet new people and they would ask "do you have any children", I used to dread that question because it's always followed with another question "what does your son do". I remember one time I told this perfect stranger, "well he does jail really well" as soon as I said it I wanted to crawl under a rock. This guy gave a nervous laugh and made his exit. The emotions would dwell up in me but I would maintain control until I was alone, sometimes I would cry and sometimes I would just be so angry at him for putting me in this situation. I felt ashamed and worried what people would think of me. Part of this journey of taking our lives back is letting go of the shame. I no longer dread being asked that question and I certainly do not care what people think. There is so much freedom in letting all of that go. I don't have much contact with my son anymore, at most a few times a year, sometimes more. Usually when I do hear from him it's because he's in jail. At those times the emotions will come up again but I draw on the skills I've learned and am able to deal with it. I've been dealing with my Difficult Child for 20 years and I still learn new ways to deal with all of it. We never stop learning, we never stop loving but we do stop worrying. [IMG]https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/d4/56/fb/d456fbc07102640fd1c44f008bef163f.jpg[/IMG] [/QUOTE]
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