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Parent Emeritus
Need some advice on continued coping with enablers.
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 376434"><p>Bean,</p><p></p><p>I agree with what others have said. I think I have said before I think one of the steps of not enabling is to stop trying to control the situation. I know for me it is really hard to do that as I want to protect my son from his own stupidity. He is 18 now and I can no longer do that.</p><p></p><p>So if you think about it as giving up control that includes giving up trying to control your difficult child's other relationships including the ones with the grandparents. Your parents will enable or set boundaries that they are comfortable with. They may be different than yours and that is ok. Your difficult child will probably manipulate them and they will have to get to the point where they won't let that happen. Sounds like they are well on their way to that point.</p><p></p><p>I think if you try to control the relationship between your difficult child and your mom then they will both resent it. It is a real shame for you to lose the close relationship with your mom over this. It is not worth it. Let her find her way on this journey.</p><p></p><p>You continue to do the great job you are doing for setting limits that are important to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 376434"] Bean, I agree with what others have said. I think I have said before I think one of the steps of not enabling is to stop trying to control the situation. I know for me it is really hard to do that as I want to protect my son from his own stupidity. He is 18 now and I can no longer do that. So if you think about it as giving up control that includes giving up trying to control your difficult child's other relationships including the ones with the grandparents. Your parents will enable or set boundaries that they are comfortable with. They may be different than yours and that is ok. Your difficult child will probably manipulate them and they will have to get to the point where they won't let that happen. Sounds like they are well on their way to that point. I think if you try to control the relationship between your difficult child and your mom then they will both resent it. It is a real shame for you to lose the close relationship with your mom over this. It is not worth it. Let her find her way on this journey. You continue to do the great job you are doing for setting limits that are important to you. [/QUOTE]
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Need some advice on continued coping with enablers.
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