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Parent Emeritus
Need some stiffening of the backbone...or open to opinions of the group
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 651621" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Lucy,</p><p></p><p>I can't know the facts of the case. What he tells me is meaningless. I don't know if the other guy was arrested. My guess is the other guy was a college student or visitor to town who came in to party for St Patricks Day (it is UNBELIEVABLE the number of green garbed babbling drunken falling in the street fools who show up, usually in groups) and had friends and also looked better. That is my prejudice. Difficult Child is timid, and afraid of physical pain. He would not have started a fight.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think the drugs were a way of fitting in with people who didn't judge him or push him, and that later they became a kind of self medication because if he sobers up and looks at who he is and where his choices have lead him it is too awful to endure. I also think he likes the self-identification of being a heroin addict more than being a "retard" or "weirdo" or any other derotory term he might have heard back in school. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>He was never right, developmental delayed, socially clueless. Pervasive Developmental Delay was the diagnosis that fit him best. Bipolar didn't come in till high school..I thought he just "cracked uner pressure" if there is such athing, but his shrink was quite sure, and said he had been wondering about hypomania for a while. IN fairness I am probably at least dysthymic, his twin and my sister both suffer from depression, and my dad was probably (undiagnosed) bipolar in some pretty spectalar ways (did I tell you about the time he bought a back hoe? please note we do not live on a farm or do construction of any kind)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes, Lucy, he is. When he is clear he is clear about that, and it is very sad. Once he told me that he was going to hitch hike to Florida, because there are more people like him there...I said what do you mean? and he said "you know..people who aren't all there."</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I"m sorry I made you feel like crying, but honestly it makes me feel less lonely, so thank you!</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes. Thank you for reminding me of that. I forget sometimes. I can even take a rest from thinking about it.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Yes. He has always done that. He has always gone out and stayed sick. Always. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>He is actually usually quite cooperative, because he doesn't like confrontation. He'll take his medications and string beads and go to music therapy with the best of them. He is quite sweetly compliant. It just stops at the door of the Institution of the Day. The only place he isn't compliant is at home...and even there he is quiet, not overt about it. So 7-9 months on medications (if they provide that) would be very helpful. And if not...7-9 months off drugs, as MWM points out, would be good.</p><p></p><p>I'm starting to think my role is to push on the mental health front if and when he gets a PD.</p><p></p><p>I don't know what is possible there.</p><p></p><p>I don't feel like calling in my PD resources yet again, but I may get there...</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 651621, member: 17269"] Lucy, I can't know the facts of the case. What he tells me is meaningless. I don't know if the other guy was arrested. My guess is the other guy was a college student or visitor to town who came in to party for St Patricks Day (it is UNBELIEVABLE the number of green garbed babbling drunken falling in the street fools who show up, usually in groups) and had friends and also looked better. That is my prejudice. Difficult Child is timid, and afraid of physical pain. He would not have started a fight. I think the drugs were a way of fitting in with people who didn't judge him or push him, and that later they became a kind of self medication because if he sobers up and looks at who he is and where his choices have lead him it is too awful to endure. I also think he likes the self-identification of being a heroin addict more than being a "retard" or "weirdo" or any other derotory term he might have heard back in school. He was never right, developmental delayed, socially clueless. Pervasive Developmental Delay was the diagnosis that fit him best. Bipolar didn't come in till high school..I thought he just "cracked uner pressure" if there is such athing, but his shrink was quite sure, and said he had been wondering about hypomania for a while. IN fairness I am probably at least dysthymic, his twin and my sister both suffer from depression, and my dad was probably (undiagnosed) bipolar in some pretty spectalar ways (did I tell you about the time he bought a back hoe? please note we do not live on a farm or do construction of any kind) Yes, Lucy, he is. When he is clear he is clear about that, and it is very sad. Once he told me that he was going to hitch hike to Florida, because there are more people like him there...I said what do you mean? and he said "you know..people who aren't all there." I"m sorry I made you feel like crying, but honestly it makes me feel less lonely, so thank you! Yes. Thank you for reminding me of that. I forget sometimes. I can even take a rest from thinking about it. Yes. He has always done that. He has always gone out and stayed sick. Always. He is actually usually quite cooperative, because he doesn't like confrontation. He'll take his medications and string beads and go to music therapy with the best of them. He is quite sweetly compliant. It just stops at the door of the Institution of the Day. The only place he isn't compliant is at home...and even there he is quiet, not overt about it. So 7-9 months on medications (if they provide that) would be very helpful. And if not...7-9 months off drugs, as MWM points out, would be good. I'm starting to think my role is to push on the mental health front if and when he gets a PD. I don't know what is possible there. I don't feel like calling in my PD resources yet again, but I may get there... Echo [/QUOTE]
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Need some stiffening of the backbone...or open to opinions of the group
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