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Parent Emeritus
Need some stiffening of the backbone...or open to opinions of the group
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<blockquote data-quote="Tanya M" data-source="post: 652141" data-attributes="member: 18516"><p>Echo, I'm just now getting caught up on this thread. I'm so sorry to hear about what's going on. I have been there to many times, getting those dreaded phone calls or letters from jail. The decision for me is easy as I have been through it so many times, I will not under any circumstance bail my son out of jail but I remember all to well the times when my husband and I would debate / argue about whether we should or shouldn't.</p><p>There is no right answer, you have to do what you are most comfortable with. Either way you go you will have pain in your heart. Not many people understand this kind of pain and turmoil but I do. It's exhausting trying to wrestle it all in your mind and always wondering if only I would have done XYZ then maybe it would have turned out different. I no longer second guess myself, I am firm in the decisions I have made, of course it still hurts but not as much as it once did. I no longer have those long crying spells. I agree with Cedar in that you don't know your son. I came to the realization about my own son a long time ago. It's such a strange feeling, I gave birth to this person but have no clue what really goes on his head. What I do know about my son and how he lives I do not like. I have accepted that he is going to live his life the way he wants to and with that I go on and live my life. No more will I feel any guilt about the life my son is living. My son like yours, their choice their life.</p><p>Big ((HUG)) to you!!!</p><p>Hang in there.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tanya M, post: 652141, member: 18516"] Echo, I'm just now getting caught up on this thread. I'm so sorry to hear about what's going on. I have been there to many times, getting those dreaded phone calls or letters from jail. The decision for me is easy as I have been through it so many times, I will not under any circumstance bail my son out of jail but I remember all to well the times when my husband and I would debate / argue about whether we should or shouldn't. There is no right answer, you have to do what you are most comfortable with. Either way you go you will have pain in your heart. Not many people understand this kind of pain and turmoil but I do. It's exhausting trying to wrestle it all in your mind and always wondering if only I would have done XYZ then maybe it would have turned out different. I no longer second guess myself, I am firm in the decisions I have made, of course it still hurts but not as much as it once did. I no longer have those long crying spells. I agree with Cedar in that you don't know your son. I came to the realization about my own son a long time ago. It's such a strange feeling, I gave birth to this person but have no clue what really goes on his head. What I do know about my son and how he lives I do not like. I have accepted that he is going to live his life the way he wants to and with that I go on and live my life. No more will I feel any guilt about the life my son is living. My son like yours, their choice their life. Big ((HUG)) to you!!! Hang in there. [/QUOTE]
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Need some stiffening of the backbone...or open to opinions of the group
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