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Need soundingboard; the line of normality
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 653889" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>During his last crash he wasn't able to keep up his usual hiding things and secrets. There were some mild signs and he actually told about self harm to his doctors and us. He did say he had been doing it at least a year, but looking back I think it is way older maladaptive coping mechanism. You see, this is a kid who always had odd injuries and things 'just happened.' Looking back some were bullying, some were actual accidents and all kinds of weird ideas and experiments, but some were likely self-harm. But his excuses were just so very believable, well, for him. They usually involved: "I just wanted to try what would happen if..." But this is a kid who planted his tongue at least three or four time to metal when it was close to 0 F way before school age and just because of scientific curiosity (i mean, how he was suppose to know, that if his tongue would get stuck to barn door handle, it would also stuck to chain of his swing? And no, that mom and dad and grandpa and grandma told so is not good enough reason to assume that would happen.)</p><p></p><p>It seems Aches 'favourite' way to hurt himself involves capsaicine. Just adding it to the mucosas (eyes, nose and so on) or existing or made breakages of the skin. His occupation basically guarantees that he has any given moment some small cuts or abrasions, so he uses those. He also knows his anatomy so he uses pressure points and other vulnerable to pain parts of his body to cause pain but no injury. But he has also stuck pins under his nails and so on. Capsaicine irritates mucosas and those abrasions in his skin so when keeping an eye of him, one can spot a cut that seems irritated and so on. Nails of course get irritated too and I have seen bruises under his nails. Or he may first walk just fine be somewhere for a moment and come back limbing, not give any real reason and walk fine again in few hours. Of course, he is an athlete in the sport that is not gentle to his body. It is uncommon if he does not have some bruises on his body in any given time or if something is not hurting. So it makes it easy for him to hide it. If we didn't know, we likely wouldn't suspect anything.</p><p></p><p>And for example Tuesday he did our groceries. He had forgotten receipt to the shopping back and I noticed he had bought hot chili peppers that are not in my cuboards and what we don't usually use (we eat mildish food and Ache doesn't like particularly hot food either. We only use milder chilis in cooking.)</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>This is again difficult to pinpoint. As a child Ache had very vivid imagination, had imagery friends, he seemed to almost believe existing and for example took couple whole weeks insisting that he was one of our dogs and to be treated like them. Or another instance when he decided he was a combine harvester. (Do not ask.) I didn't know at the time, but found out lately that that vivid imagery life as young child can be a sign of high dissociative capacity. And dissociation certainly is one of his biggest mental issues. </p><p></p><p>But it was maybe close to three years ago, when I started to pay attention that he seemed to have these different personas that went beyond the roles people usually have and that he was switching rapidly between them. That would had made him 18 at the time. Around that time they were bit less distinctive, still closer to different roles or different maturity levels than so real cut personas they are now. So while they are similar, it seems they have become more intense over time.</p><p></p><p>Someone suggested via private messages if this could have something to do with bipolar and mood swings of that. That is certainly worth a thought. I do have bipolar in my family tree. Though I can honestly say, that it would be difficult to see how any of his moods would qualify mania or hypomania. And this personas, or moods, or roles, also switch really rapidly, several time a day even.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 653889, member: 14557"] During his last crash he wasn't able to keep up his usual hiding things and secrets. There were some mild signs and he actually told about self harm to his doctors and us. He did say he had been doing it at least a year, but looking back I think it is way older maladaptive coping mechanism. You see, this is a kid who always had odd injuries and things 'just happened.' Looking back some were bullying, some were actual accidents and all kinds of weird ideas and experiments, but some were likely self-harm. But his excuses were just so very believable, well, for him. They usually involved: "I just wanted to try what would happen if..." But this is a kid who planted his tongue at least three or four time to metal when it was close to 0 F way before school age and just because of scientific curiosity (i mean, how he was suppose to know, that if his tongue would get stuck to barn door handle, it would also stuck to chain of his swing? And no, that mom and dad and grandpa and grandma told so is not good enough reason to assume that would happen.) It seems Aches 'favourite' way to hurt himself involves capsaicine. Just adding it to the mucosas (eyes, nose and so on) or existing or made breakages of the skin. His occupation basically guarantees that he has any given moment some small cuts or abrasions, so he uses those. He also knows his anatomy so he uses pressure points and other vulnerable to pain parts of his body to cause pain but no injury. But he has also stuck pins under his nails and so on. Capsaicine irritates mucosas and those abrasions in his skin so when keeping an eye of him, one can spot a cut that seems irritated and so on. Nails of course get irritated too and I have seen bruises under his nails. Or he may first walk just fine be somewhere for a moment and come back limbing, not give any real reason and walk fine again in few hours. Of course, he is an athlete in the sport that is not gentle to his body. It is uncommon if he does not have some bruises on his body in any given time or if something is not hurting. So it makes it easy for him to hide it. If we didn't know, we likely wouldn't suspect anything. And for example Tuesday he did our groceries. He had forgotten receipt to the shopping back and I noticed he had bought hot chili peppers that are not in my cuboards and what we don't usually use (we eat mildish food and Ache doesn't like particularly hot food either. We only use milder chilis in cooking.) This is again difficult to pinpoint. As a child Ache had very vivid imagination, had imagery friends, he seemed to almost believe existing and for example took couple whole weeks insisting that he was one of our dogs and to be treated like them. Or another instance when he decided he was a combine harvester. (Do not ask.) I didn't know at the time, but found out lately that that vivid imagery life as young child can be a sign of high dissociative capacity. And dissociation certainly is one of his biggest mental issues. But it was maybe close to three years ago, when I started to pay attention that he seemed to have these different personas that went beyond the roles people usually have and that he was switching rapidly between them. That would had made him 18 at the time. Around that time they were bit less distinctive, still closer to different roles or different maturity levels than so real cut personas they are now. So while they are similar, it seems they have become more intense over time. Someone suggested via private messages if this could have something to do with bipolar and mood swings of that. That is certainly worth a thought. I do have bipolar in my family tree. Though I can honestly say, that it would be difficult to see how any of his moods would qualify mania or hypomania. And this personas, or moods, or roles, also switch really rapidly, several time a day even. [/QUOTE]
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Need soundingboard; the line of normality
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