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Parent Emeritus
need support group to stop enabling 18 yr old difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 246145" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Absolutely do get help. Binge drinking IS an alcohol problem and she's also smoking pot and you don't really know what else she is doing. Kids are generous with their illegal drugs. I had a daughter who did them. I never gave her a penny, but she always had drugs. </p><p>I'd definitely go to either Al-Anon or Narc-Anon. Also, if you let her live with you, I'd make her get a job, pay rent, do chores, and I wouldn't drive her around either. If you can't be tough on her, don't make things worse for her and yourself by letting her live with you. If she were mine, she'd have two months to get her act together (including quitting the binge drinking and weed), make more money, or she'd be out the door even if she had nowhere to go. Dad is enabling her giving her no incentive to act her age. You can NOT control what he does. But if you bring her into your house and she just lives the same sort of lifestyle with you, she certainly won't grow up in any meaningful way. Kids who do these things need tough love. They do not respond to kindness. They exploit it and we suffer. My suggestion is to take inventory of yourself. Can you give this girl an ultimatum or will she be doing the same stuff at your house as she is at his? You know yourself better than we do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 246145, member: 1550"] Absolutely do get help. Binge drinking IS an alcohol problem and she's also smoking pot and you don't really know what else she is doing. Kids are generous with their illegal drugs. I had a daughter who did them. I never gave her a penny, but she always had drugs. I'd definitely go to either Al-Anon or Narc-Anon. Also, if you let her live with you, I'd make her get a job, pay rent, do chores, and I wouldn't drive her around either. If you can't be tough on her, don't make things worse for her and yourself by letting her live with you. If she were mine, she'd have two months to get her act together (including quitting the binge drinking and weed), make more money, or she'd be out the door even if she had nowhere to go. Dad is enabling her giving her no incentive to act her age. You can NOT control what he does. But if you bring her into your house and she just lives the same sort of lifestyle with you, she certainly won't grow up in any meaningful way. Kids who do these things need tough love. They do not respond to kindness. They exploit it and we suffer. My suggestion is to take inventory of yourself. Can you give this girl an ultimatum or will she be doing the same stuff at your house as she is at his? You know yourself better than we do. [/QUOTE]
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need support group to stop enabling 18 yr old difficult child
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