Hi MisLuLu,
I am sorry to hear that the mean girl in your head is misbehaving. Continue to ask yourself "what evidence is there of this or that". If his avoidance is concerning to you, perhaps take into account his new job and girlfriend, which is no doubt occupying his time. If something is wrong, you will know soon enough. Immerse yourself into activities and perhaps try to focus on living in the present. The past is over and the future uncertain. All we have for sure is the present. I think you are trying to stay positive, as your self talk is backing up negative thoughts with the buts- but he's coming to dinner, but he's paying his rent on time, but he is being respectful, but it might drive him away. Try to hold on to his wins for now. Perhaps he doesn't need the video game right away, he may be prioritizing the job and girlfriend and being responsible to pay his bills-rent.
As I said before, focus on YOU. He seems to be holding down the fort and if not, you will probably be the first to know. What if he is using? There isn't anything you can control. What if he skips his medication? You can't control. What if the girlfriend is too much? You can not control. You can control you. You can work on self care. You can be less harder on yourself. Kick the mean girl out of your thoughts and make space for the real you. The real you that is kind-hearted, sweet, caring, responsible person that you are.
Love,
JMOM
