Sounds to me like you are doing all the right things. As for husband, I feel your frustration. My husband will sometimes throw up his hands and tell me he doesn't want to hear about difficult child anymore. The last time, i let it ride, did my best to not mention difficult child (although he lives with us-not an easdy thing to do) and then when there was something good to report, I told husband that he was gonna hear that. In the end, husband told difficult child he was proud of the thing I mentioned and they are speaking again. It is hard and no one but we Mom's can understand the step dad's frustration as there are many times we don't want to hear from or about our difficult child's. Hang in there!
Hope all goes well in court and that if it does not go difficult child's way, it will be something he can learn from.
Hugs,
