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Need to post, difficult child not doing well
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<blockquote data-quote="hearthope" data-source="post: 39587" data-attributes="member: 2389"><p>Barbara ~ you speak so many truths</p><p></p><p>Biodad was the one that taught me the truths of drug use.</p><p></p><p>The only person you can change is yourself. The only time drug use will stop is when the person abusing drugs decides to stop.</p><p></p><p>That has been the hardest for me to accept. It was so different dealing with his dad than dealing with him. He is my son that was raised aware of the pain and destruction drugs cause. He is the very last person on earth I would imagine that would use drugs.</p><p></p><p>He has seen the homeless. He has been the homeless staying in a shelter to get away from his dad abusing drugs. I have always been honest with him and we have discussed drug use and choices people make since he was little. He knows the reasons we left his dad. He knows I struggled to raise him and sister with no help so that they wouldn't be exposed to anyone using drugs.</p><p></p><p>I think I have finally come to the point of letting all of that go. I realize it no longer matters what I did or didn't do, it only matters that he is still choosing to go down the wrong road.</p><p></p><p>I am strong in my beliefs, that is where my strength comes from to stand against what he is doing.</p><p></p><p>Many times I have told him I will move a mountain for you if you are living right but I will not help you go down the wrong road.</p><p></p><p>He knows this. I believe that is why he has chosen to advoid me, he knows what I am going to say when we talk.</p><p></p><p>I will keep posting. It helps me so much to hear what others have done. It opens my eyes to a different way and it also assures me that I am not the only one going through these rough times.</p><p></p><p>What you said about having no closure and no accomplishment is so true. This was not what anyone imagined having to do at this time in life. </p><p>I am witnessing the growth of the other 18 yr olds in his class. They are following the goals they set for themselves. My son is spinning his wheels in circles, mostly going backwards. He also sees (I think) the progress and choices these others are making.</p><p>I have no idea what he thinks about it and how he justifies the fact that everyone else is moving on and he is happy to stay in the same hole and just keep getting lower and lower.</p><p></p><p>I will remember the truth ~~~ Only he can change himself</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearthope, post: 39587, member: 2389"] Barbara ~ you speak so many truths Biodad was the one that taught me the truths of drug use. The only person you can change is yourself. The only time drug use will stop is when the person abusing drugs decides to stop. That has been the hardest for me to accept. It was so different dealing with his dad than dealing with him. He is my son that was raised aware of the pain and destruction drugs cause. He is the very last person on earth I would imagine that would use drugs. He has seen the homeless. He has been the homeless staying in a shelter to get away from his dad abusing drugs. I have always been honest with him and we have discussed drug use and choices people make since he was little. He knows the reasons we left his dad. He knows I struggled to raise him and sister with no help so that they wouldn't be exposed to anyone using drugs. I think I have finally come to the point of letting all of that go. I realize it no longer matters what I did or didn't do, it only matters that he is still choosing to go down the wrong road. I am strong in my beliefs, that is where my strength comes from to stand against what he is doing. Many times I have told him I will move a mountain for you if you are living right but I will not help you go down the wrong road. He knows this. I believe that is why he has chosen to advoid me, he knows what I am going to say when we talk. I will keep posting. It helps me so much to hear what others have done. It opens my eyes to a different way and it also assures me that I am not the only one going through these rough times. What you said about having no closure and no accomplishment is so true. This was not what anyone imagined having to do at this time in life. I am witnessing the growth of the other 18 yr olds in his class. They are following the goals they set for themselves. My son is spinning his wheels in circles, mostly going backwards. He also sees (I think) the progress and choices these others are making. I have no idea what he thinks about it and how he justifies the fact that everyone else is moving on and he is happy to stay in the same hole and just keep getting lower and lower. I will remember the truth ~~~ Only he can change himself [/QUOTE]
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