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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 743515" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>I think what is really important for your 13 year old is first that you believed him when he told you about the abuse. You believed him and you took action and you protected him from furhter abuse. That is key. I understand your feelings about definitely not sharing your any contact you have with your older son with your younger sonm and the issue of hding that and how that would make you feel. I think what is really important here is that your younger son know without a doubt that you would not put him in a situation where he would have to have ocntact with his older brother. It sounds like you have made that clear.... but that is what he really needs to be sure of. He needs to know he is safe from his older brother. Unless he asks about his older brother (which he might very well not do) I dont think there is any reason at this point for you to talk to him about his older brother. As he gets older he may come to understand as horrible as his older brother might be he is still your son, and you are still his mother and you may still love him and have feelings for him in some way. </p><p></p><p>I know that has been true for my daughter. She would just as soon that we cut our son out of our lives completely....but she has accepted that as his parents we cannot and will not do that. What was really important was that we believed what she told us, and that we did not put her in a position where she felt she had to be unsafe either physically or emotionally.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 743515, member: 15801"] I think what is really important for your 13 year old is first that you believed him when he told you about the abuse. You believed him and you took action and you protected him from furhter abuse. That is key. I understand your feelings about definitely not sharing your any contact you have with your older son with your younger sonm and the issue of hding that and how that would make you feel. I think what is really important here is that your younger son know without a doubt that you would not put him in a situation where he would have to have ocntact with his older brother. It sounds like you have made that clear.... but that is what he really needs to be sure of. He needs to know he is safe from his older brother. Unless he asks about his older brother (which he might very well not do) I dont think there is any reason at this point for you to talk to him about his older brother. As he gets older he may come to understand as horrible as his older brother might be he is still your son, and you are still his mother and you may still love him and have feelings for him in some way. I know that has been true for my daughter. She would just as soon that we cut our son out of our lives completely....but she has accepted that as his parents we cannot and will not do that. What was really important was that we believed what she told us, and that we did not put her in a position where she felt she had to be unsafe either physically or emotionally. [/QUOTE]
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