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Substance Abuse
Need Words of Strength Now More Than Ever!
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 743088" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I know. I hope you let us know how things go as they progress.</p><p></p><p>It is hard for me to not focus on "results". I have outcomes that I<em> need </em>my son to attain. He is invested not even 1 percent in my outcomes. They are only mine. They exist in my head. They are completely unattainable by me. I wake up at 3am frantic with worry and powerlessness because I have no control over outcomes I want and need that are not in me, but in another adult. As I type this the futility of it all I cannot escape. I have tied myself to the tracks and a freight train is coming at me.</p><p></p><p>Where I am heading here is this: The only result I have control over is loving my son. Of trying to stay connected to him. Of being present to him, as he lives his life as he chooses to lead it. But at the same time I need to make sure that I am not impacted by his life and his choices. This is hard work.</p><p></p><p>You are modeling this to me. You are supporting and loving your son, where he is. He knows with all of his heart that you are there for him. That you have stayed with him and that you will be with him no matter where he goes and what happens. This is the greatest of gifts of one human to another. And to me it is the essence of parenting an adult. I have the utmost respect for you. I hope this goes as you hope.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 743088, member: 18958"] I know. I hope you let us know how things go as they progress. It is hard for me to not focus on "results". I have outcomes that I[I] need [/I]my son to attain. He is invested not even 1 percent in my outcomes. They are only mine. They exist in my head. They are completely unattainable by me. I wake up at 3am frantic with worry and powerlessness because I have no control over outcomes I want and need that are not in me, but in another adult. As I type this the futility of it all I cannot escape. I have tied myself to the tracks and a freight train is coming at me. Where I am heading here is this: The only result I have control over is loving my son. Of trying to stay connected to him. Of being present to him, as he lives his life as he chooses to lead it. But at the same time I need to make sure that I am not impacted by his life and his choices. This is hard work. You are modeling this to me. You are supporting and loving your son, where he is. He knows with all of his heart that you are there for him. That you have stayed with him and that you will be with him no matter where he goes and what happens. This is the greatest of gifts of one human to another. And to me it is the essence of parenting an adult. I have the utmost respect for you. I hope this goes as you hope. [/QUOTE]
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