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Need words of wisdom please!
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 310005"><p>You sound like a caring mother, who is probably extraordinarily tired, worried, stressed and probably showing other signs of wear and tear. </p><p></p><p>You wrote "BiPolar (BP)" in your description line, I believe indicating Bipolar illness. If this is the diagnosis, why is she not taking any medication? </p><p></p><p>Has anyone ever suggested the possibility of Borderline Personality Disorder as well as the BiPolar (BP) diagnosis? Sometimes, these things come in pairs.</p><p></p><p>For one thing, if you honestly feel she can not hold down a job, I would consider re-appling for the SS Disability. If you are turned down again, get an attorney who specializes in these things.</p><p></p><p> Also, get her to the psychiatrist asap. For one thing, you will need the documentation. For another, perhaps there are medications she can take while pregnant. Will your daughter go to therapy (to talk with someone)? Bipolar illness is a serious diagnosis and it really requires medication and therapy to get a handle on things.</p><p></p><p>Your daughter is 21...in my humble opinion, it is time to pull back your involvement. Sure, this is going to be very hard due to a variety of complications here. YOu might not want to fully pull back because of all that is involved, but perhaps it would be a good idea to let her know that you expect her to be doing much more than what she is doing now and let her know you mean business. How? Well, refuse to pay for her cell phone for example if she is disrespectful to you, etc. (just an example).</p><p></p><p>However, boundaries are important for each of us. All children/young adults need boundaries in their lives.</p><p></p><p>It takes guts, thought and creativity, but when and where you are able, I certainly would expect her to put forth a greater effort in her own good self care...and this probably would start with going to a doctor or doctors for treatment and being respectful of you and your rules in your home.</p><p></p><p>With reference to her not showing up for court is that part of being bipolar or just simply bad behavior? It kinda sounds like bad behavior and even if it were partially due to her illness, why isn't she on medications? Did SHE make a decision to not take medications? Hmmm. Perhaps she needs to accept the consequences of her decisions.</p><p></p><p>PLEASE make sure you take good care of yourself and your relationship with good friends and loved ones. Don't make this the center of your universe. And by the way, if she is defensive and/or rude when you make suggestions, don't make them. Live your life...find things to do that you enjoy.</p><p></p><p>I also like M1976's way of saying she read it in an article! Fascinating!!! Perhaps after the baby comes, you might want to consider keeping the lines of communication open by "not rocking the boat," however, I would never tolerate unkind behavior towards you. </p><p> </p><p>Sure, this is a very upsetting situation, that could very well warrant some of your extra attention at this time, but don't let it totally take over your life, don't participate in her life if she is unkind to you, and don't let your daughter not do what she can do, to help herself as best as she is able.</p><p></p><p>Sending good thoughts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 310005"] You sound like a caring mother, who is probably extraordinarily tired, worried, stressed and probably showing other signs of wear and tear. You wrote "BiPolar (BP)" in your description line, I believe indicating Bipolar illness. If this is the diagnosis, why is she not taking any medication? Has anyone ever suggested the possibility of Borderline Personality Disorder as well as the BiPolar (BP) diagnosis? Sometimes, these things come in pairs. For one thing, if you honestly feel she can not hold down a job, I would consider re-appling for the SS Disability. If you are turned down again, get an attorney who specializes in these things. Also, get her to the psychiatrist asap. For one thing, you will need the documentation. For another, perhaps there are medications she can take while pregnant. Will your daughter go to therapy (to talk with someone)? Bipolar illness is a serious diagnosis and it really requires medication and therapy to get a handle on things. Your daughter is 21...in my humble opinion, it is time to pull back your involvement. Sure, this is going to be very hard due to a variety of complications here. YOu might not want to fully pull back because of all that is involved, but perhaps it would be a good idea to let her know that you expect her to be doing much more than what she is doing now and let her know you mean business. How? Well, refuse to pay for her cell phone for example if she is disrespectful to you, etc. (just an example). However, boundaries are important for each of us. All children/young adults need boundaries in their lives. It takes guts, thought and creativity, but when and where you are able, I certainly would expect her to put forth a greater effort in her own good self care...and this probably would start with going to a doctor or doctors for treatment and being respectful of you and your rules in your home. With reference to her not showing up for court is that part of being bipolar or just simply bad behavior? It kinda sounds like bad behavior and even if it were partially due to her illness, why isn't she on medications? Did SHE make a decision to not take medications? Hmmm. Perhaps she needs to accept the consequences of her decisions. PLEASE make sure you take good care of yourself and your relationship with good friends and loved ones. Don't make this the center of your universe. And by the way, if she is defensive and/or rude when you make suggestions, don't make them. Live your life...find things to do that you enjoy. I also like M1976's way of saying she read it in an article! Fascinating!!! Perhaps after the baby comes, you might want to consider keeping the lines of communication open by "not rocking the boat," however, I would never tolerate unkind behavior towards you. Sure, this is a very upsetting situation, that could very well warrant some of your extra attention at this time, but don't let it totally take over your life, don't participate in her life if she is unkind to you, and don't let your daughter not do what she can do, to help herself as best as she is able. Sending good thoughts. [/QUOTE]
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