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<blockquote data-quote="ScentofCedar" data-source="post: 381011" data-attributes="member: 3353"><p>During my time on the Board, I learned how to see difficult child clearly, and I learned (thanks, guys) how to respond. Just lately, we refused to allow difficult child (now thirty five and with a family of his own) to move in with us. The hatred and nastiness that came roaring out of him has left me shaken and feeling vulnerable. So, that's my question. How is it possible to look at what has happened, to hear the accusations and name calling and to feel the contempt without succumbing to it? husband becomes angry and disgusted, and feels totally justified in having refused. I don't really feel angry. I too feel justified (having been through the moving home routine more than once). Mostly, I feel numb. I feel I must have done something wrong in raising this person, that I must somehow deserve these things, for him to spew out this kind of hatred.</p><p></p><p>On an intellectual level, I understand that this is not so. I get it that drug use is drug use, and that its effects are long lasting. But in my heart, I feel shocked and numb and foolish. </p><p></p><p>And ashamed.</p><p></p><p>Seeing my friends with their sons cuts me to the quick.</p><p></p><p>Has anyone dealt with these feelings successfully?</p><p></p><p>How in the world did you do it?</p><p></p><p>Barbara</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ScentofCedar, post: 381011, member: 3353"] During my time on the Board, I learned how to see difficult child clearly, and I learned (thanks, guys) how to respond. Just lately, we refused to allow difficult child (now thirty five and with a family of his own) to move in with us. The hatred and nastiness that came roaring out of him has left me shaken and feeling vulnerable. So, that's my question. How is it possible to look at what has happened, to hear the accusations and name calling and to feel the contempt without succumbing to it? husband becomes angry and disgusted, and feels totally justified in having refused. I don't really feel angry. I too feel justified (having been through the moving home routine more than once). Mostly, I feel numb. I feel I must have done something wrong in raising this person, that I must somehow deserve these things, for him to spew out this kind of hatred. On an intellectual level, I understand that this is not so. I get it that drug use is drug use, and that its effects are long lasting. But in my heart, I feel shocked and numb and foolish. And ashamed. Seeing my friends with their sons cuts me to the quick. Has anyone dealt with these feelings successfully? How in the world did you do it? Barbara [/QUOTE]
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