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<blockquote data-quote="Estherfromjerusalem" data-source="post: 381030" data-attributes="member: 77"><p>Barbara, I'm so sorry that these feelings are what has brought you back to the board. I am absolutely sure that you do NOT deserve this in any way.</p><p></p><p>Regarding your saying that you must have done something wrong: My theory is that we all do the best we can, the best we are able to do, capable of doing. And if we do our best, our personal best, that is the maximum that can be expected of us. Each one of us parents is different, and each one of our children is different, and each family has to cope with its own set of circumstances. None of us can do better than our best efforts.</p><p></p><p>And I know that you have done your absolute most and best to cope with your son.</p><p></p><p>When you say "I must have done something wrong in raising this son," I feel that I must say to you that every parent who raises a child has to make some mistakes. That is par for the course. No one can get everything right. That is part of the gamble in raising children. Once again, I must stress that if we try to do our best for and with our child, that is the maximum that any parent can expect from him/herself.</p><p></p><p>I don't report any more about my own difficult child because he is still doing same old same old, and I too find it distressing to hear the hate he spews out sometimes. At other times he is quite pleasant. He veers from one extreme to another (not often the pleasant one). Sometimes I can't believe the way he speaks to us. But we live in hope. Luckily we don't have the drug problem to cope with, and I thank my lucky stars for that.</p><p></p><p>Anyway, it is good to see you, although I am sorry about the circumstances that brought you back to us. I send you a warm hug.</p><p></p><p>Love, Esther</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Estherfromjerusalem, post: 381030, member: 77"] Barbara, I'm so sorry that these feelings are what has brought you back to the board. I am absolutely sure that you do NOT deserve this in any way. Regarding your saying that you must have done something wrong: My theory is that we all do the best we can, the best we are able to do, capable of doing. And if we do our best, our personal best, that is the maximum that can be expected of us. Each one of us parents is different, and each one of our children is different, and each family has to cope with its own set of circumstances. None of us can do better than our best efforts. And I know that you have done your absolute most and best to cope with your son. When you say "I must have done something wrong in raising this son," I feel that I must say to you that every parent who raises a child has to make some mistakes. That is par for the course. No one can get everything right. That is part of the gamble in raising children. Once again, I must stress that if we try to do our best for and with our child, that is the maximum that any parent can expect from him/herself. I don't report any more about my own difficult child because he is still doing same old same old, and I too find it distressing to hear the hate he spews out sometimes. At other times he is quite pleasant. He veers from one extreme to another (not often the pleasant one). Sometimes I can't believe the way he speaks to us. But we live in hope. Luckily we don't have the drug problem to cope with, and I thank my lucky stars for that. Anyway, it is good to see you, although I am sorry about the circumstances that brought you back to us. I send you a warm hug. Love, Esther [/QUOTE]
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