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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 751059" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>He could have reactive attachment disorder, which pretty much looks, sounds and is like ASPD. Adopted kids tend to have these sorts of issues and many others. Kay is also adopted.</p><p></p><p>There is really not much you can fo for ASPD or Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). However, if perhaps he has one of them, he would definitely not be looking to reconnect out of love. ASPDs and RADs don't even understand love, let alone want it. With Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) we were told that love actually scares the person and trying to offer love makes the person scared and worse.</p><p></p><p>When we apply to adopt, we are so excited and over the top, and maybe this is mixed with happiness that one more child who has no parents will grow up beloved in the arms of a family. That is how we felt. It seemed so right.</p><p></p><p>We had no idea that adopted children are much more likely to have all sorts of mental health and substance abuse issues. We did not think that maybe Kay's birthmother would be drinking during her pregnancy, but she could have. And that could be another component to Kay's problems, if she did. We have little info on birth family.</p><p></p><p>If we had been frankly told the risks at the time we had been planning to adopt, we probably would have adopted Kay anyway. We arrogantly would have not really believed it would happen in our loving home. But then in hindsight we could have looked back and admitted that they had disclosed this well known fact. They did not.</p><p></p><p>I had never heard of reactive attachment disorder short of a few articles. Back then there was no internet and nobody mentioned it.</p><p></p><p>I call Kay borderline, and she acts like she is, but the fact is that reactive attachment disorder is a lot like all three Cluster B personality disorders...Antisocial PD, Narcicism, and Borderline. And all are extremely hard, if impossible, to treat and do not tend to get better with no treatment at all.</p><p></p><p>I am so very sorry for your pain. Kay was adopted from abroad too, however not Russia or that part of the world.</p><p></p><p>God bless and be well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 751059, member: 23706"] He could have reactive attachment disorder, which pretty much looks, sounds and is like ASPD. Adopted kids tend to have these sorts of issues and many others. Kay is also adopted. There is really not much you can fo for ASPD or Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). However, if perhaps he has one of them, he would definitely not be looking to reconnect out of love. ASPDs and RADs don't even understand love, let alone want it. With Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) we were told that love actually scares the person and trying to offer love makes the person scared and worse. When we apply to adopt, we are so excited and over the top, and maybe this is mixed with happiness that one more child who has no parents will grow up beloved in the arms of a family. That is how we felt. It seemed so right. We had no idea that adopted children are much more likely to have all sorts of mental health and substance abuse issues. We did not think that maybe Kay's birthmother would be drinking during her pregnancy, but she could have. And that could be another component to Kay's problems, if she did. We have little info on birth family. If we had been frankly told the risks at the time we had been planning to adopt, we probably would have adopted Kay anyway. We arrogantly would have not really believed it would happen in our loving home. But then in hindsight we could have looked back and admitted that they had disclosed this well known fact. They did not. I had never heard of reactive attachment disorder short of a few articles. Back then there was no internet and nobody mentioned it. I call Kay borderline, and she acts like she is, but the fact is that reactive attachment disorder is a lot like all three Cluster B personality disorders...Antisocial PD, Narcicism, and Borderline. And all are extremely hard, if impossible, to treat and do not tend to get better with no treatment at all. I am so very sorry for your pain. Kay was adopted from abroad too, however not Russia or that part of the world. God bless and be well. [/QUOTE]
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