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neighborhood kids, teasing and difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 307842" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We have been through this. difficult child 3 was bullied for years by kids both at school and at home. The school didn't handle it well and allowed it to continue, actually telling difficult child 3 (when he tried to tell a teacher) that he didn't understand what was really happening, because of his autism!</p><p></p><p>Outside school the same kids would continue to harass him because if the school took no action, then surely that meant it was acceptable to do this? And he was such an easy target, always guaranteed to react.</p><p></p><p>Even I was 'conned' by this, like a battered spouse begins to accept the beatings as normal. So when difficult child 3 was attacked and tey drew blood, that's what it took for me to call the police. The cops said, "Well, at least it's only an isolated incident."</p><p>"No it's not!" I told them. "This has been going on for years - we go to any community fair and these kids threow things at him and call him names. And that his behaviour deteriorates."</p><p>The cops then told me, "We can only use what we have in terms of reports. That means that in future if ANY kid calls him names or even looks at him the wrong way, call us. We don't always have to attend, but you can at least give us a report. Any information is good, we can build up a file."</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 has partial face blindness which means that bullies can get away with it by saying, "It wasn't me," and it's been difficult for us to prove anything.</p><p></p><p>So I began carrying my camera. I took photos of any injuries difficult child 3 suffered. I found the log these kids had hit him with and took photos of that. And when there were other kids doing things like throwing rocks from a pile of spoil (and then claiming difficult child 3 had been doing this, when I knew he hadn't because he had been with me) I began taking photos of other kids doing the wrong thing. I then sent the photos to the school, to begin with. </p><p></p><p>We have had problems every Halloween, except for the last couple of years. So I began my drive around the village before sunet on Halloween, visiting the places where the problem kids hang out and use as their base of operations. And I took photos of them so I could use it later to identify them. Any damage done to nearby property at about the same time, i was ready to produce my photos to show who was in the area at that time.</p><p></p><p>We're still better off than a neighbour, whose wife used to teach at the local school. She wasn't popular and they keep getting their windows broken by local kids. The teacher's husband does, I feel, make things worse by getting verbally aggressive with the kids. Yes, he'sentitled to be angry and express it, but it only gives these kids a thrill, they successfully made him angry and that is fun. I told him he has to instal CCTV and send the files to police.</p><p></p><p>Any kid on his own would have difficulty dealing with group bullying especially when it follows him home. But a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kid needs extra help.</p><p></p><p>What finally did it for us - I used the network of other kids' parents, people we knew. I listend to gossip especially when parents were talking about who in te town is a problem. When I got a likely name I gave it to the police when difficult child 3 was attacked. And hit the jackpot - that kid WAS one of those present (not te ringleader though) and sang like a canary, gave names of all the other kids. So the cops visited all of them.</p><p></p><p>Outcome - I nefer got te chance to talk to the kids or teir parents even though I asked the police to help this happen. But the gang got broken up anyway because a couple of parents moved their kids to a different school, organised some outside school activities etc so the kids weren't hanging around in shiftless groups getting up to trouble. These kids are potentially serious troublemakers, getting into trouble out of sheer boredom and lack of direction/supervision. The parents got a fright, some of them anyway. And it was enough - the gang is now half the size it was and also more closely watched.</p><p></p><p>So the recommendation - take photos. Even if all you get is their retreating backs. Simply knowing you're doing this will scare them. Or get difficult child to take photos. If these kdis are on your property and harassing you or any member of your family, I think you could make a very strong case to the police for some sort of intervention.</p><p></p><p>Talk to the police anyway, let them know of the problems. The cops probably have a shrewd idea who these kids are - such kids will be picking on a lot more people than just your son.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 307842, member: 1991"] We have been through this. difficult child 3 was bullied for years by kids both at school and at home. The school didn't handle it well and allowed it to continue, actually telling difficult child 3 (when he tried to tell a teacher) that he didn't understand what was really happening, because of his autism! Outside school the same kids would continue to harass him because if the school took no action, then surely that meant it was acceptable to do this? And he was such an easy target, always guaranteed to react. Even I was 'conned' by this, like a battered spouse begins to accept the beatings as normal. So when difficult child 3 was attacked and tey drew blood, that's what it took for me to call the police. The cops said, "Well, at least it's only an isolated incident." "No it's not!" I told them. "This has been going on for years - we go to any community fair and these kids threow things at him and call him names. And that his behaviour deteriorates." The cops then told me, "We can only use what we have in terms of reports. That means that in future if ANY kid calls him names or even looks at him the wrong way, call us. We don't always have to attend, but you can at least give us a report. Any information is good, we can build up a file." difficult child 3 has partial face blindness which means that bullies can get away with it by saying, "It wasn't me," and it's been difficult for us to prove anything. So I began carrying my camera. I took photos of any injuries difficult child 3 suffered. I found the log these kids had hit him with and took photos of that. And when there were other kids doing things like throwing rocks from a pile of spoil (and then claiming difficult child 3 had been doing this, when I knew he hadn't because he had been with me) I began taking photos of other kids doing the wrong thing. I then sent the photos to the school, to begin with. We have had problems every Halloween, except for the last couple of years. So I began my drive around the village before sunet on Halloween, visiting the places where the problem kids hang out and use as their base of operations. And I took photos of them so I could use it later to identify them. Any damage done to nearby property at about the same time, i was ready to produce my photos to show who was in the area at that time. We're still better off than a neighbour, whose wife used to teach at the local school. She wasn't popular and they keep getting their windows broken by local kids. The teacher's husband does, I feel, make things worse by getting verbally aggressive with the kids. Yes, he'sentitled to be angry and express it, but it only gives these kids a thrill, they successfully made him angry and that is fun. I told him he has to instal CCTV and send the files to police. Any kid on his own would have difficulty dealing with group bullying especially when it follows him home. But a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kid needs extra help. What finally did it for us - I used the network of other kids' parents, people we knew. I listend to gossip especially when parents were talking about who in te town is a problem. When I got a likely name I gave it to the police when difficult child 3 was attacked. And hit the jackpot - that kid WAS one of those present (not te ringleader though) and sang like a canary, gave names of all the other kids. So the cops visited all of them. Outcome - I nefer got te chance to talk to the kids or teir parents even though I asked the police to help this happen. But the gang got broken up anyway because a couple of parents moved their kids to a different school, organised some outside school activities etc so the kids weren't hanging around in shiftless groups getting up to trouble. These kids are potentially serious troublemakers, getting into trouble out of sheer boredom and lack of direction/supervision. The parents got a fright, some of them anyway. And it was enough - the gang is now half the size it was and also more closely watched. So the recommendation - take photos. Even if all you get is their retreating backs. Simply knowing you're doing this will scare them. Or get difficult child to take photos. If these kdis are on your property and harassing you or any member of your family, I think you could make a very strong case to the police for some sort of intervention. Talk to the police anyway, let them know of the problems. The cops probably have a shrewd idea who these kids are - such kids will be picking on a lot more people than just your son. Marg [/QUOTE]
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