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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 222610" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi again. You poor thing. You are trying so hard. Unfortunately, with his mother's behavior when the child was small, you may be seeing attachment problems too. You may want to look up reactive attachment disorder (I'll find a link). These kids have no empathy and actually don't want to be loved because they didn't get their needs met as a child and therefore are very "me" oriented (they had no choice). They don't learn how to trust other people therefore they can't attach to other people. Often love scares them and the more you "love" them the more they act out. Please remember Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is rarely the only problem. Birthmom sounds like she could have passed on some terrible genes and you don't have hub's family history. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is something good to know about. Also, if Mom drank or took drugs while pregnant with difficult child, well, that can also cause serious problems. You need in my opinion to gather all the information you can find and bring it to your neuropsychologist appointment. NeuroPsychs can be found at University and Children's Hospitals. OK, the link is below.</p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/FFF-Guide-Home.aspx?hkey=c2dc89fb-aac1-4308-9297-eedfe7755b92" target="_blank">http://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/FFF-Guide-Home.aspx?hkey=c2dc89fb-aac1-4308-9297-eedfe7755b92</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 222610, member: 1550"] Hi again. You poor thing. You are trying so hard. Unfortunately, with his mother's behavior when the child was small, you may be seeing attachment problems too. You may want to look up reactive attachment disorder (I'll find a link). These kids have no empathy and actually don't want to be loved because they didn't get their needs met as a child and therefore are very "me" oriented (they had no choice). They don't learn how to trust other people therefore they can't attach to other people. Often love scares them and the more you "love" them the more they act out. Please remember Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is rarely the only problem. Birthmom sounds like she could have passed on some terrible genes and you don't have hub's family history. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is something good to know about. Also, if Mom drank or took drugs while pregnant with difficult child, well, that can also cause serious problems. You need in my opinion to gather all the information you can find and bring it to your neuropsychologist appointment. NeuroPsychs can be found at University and Children's Hospitals. OK, the link is below. [URL]http://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/FFF-Guide-Home.aspx?hkey=c2dc89fb-aac1-4308-9297-eedfe7755b92[/URL] [/QUOTE]
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