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New and confused...my introduction...
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<blockquote data-quote="mama2carter" data-source="post: 412873" data-attributes="member: 11256"><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Thank you so so so much for the wonderful advice! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /> I love what you had to say, Hound Dog, and think it makes such good sense. Thank you for taking the time to write a lengthy response!</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px">This week has been especially difficult (at school). Again with miscommunication as to the whys, my son who is not a biter, got into trouble twice for biting this week, and actually had to be sent home today...this was the last straw. I just felt like today I had to finally listen to that little voice in my head that has been talking since December and telling me that this is not a beneficial situation for him to be in.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px">On Wednesday, the teacher who did not witness what happened, brought him to the carpool line and told me she was told that he bit someone when she was not in the room. The other teacher claimed it was not out of play--I guess meaning it was either done maliciously or "unprovoked"--the 12 boys often get rowdy playing superheroes. However, my son told me (and the director) a different story. Apparently he was Wolverine--a character he learned at school--and was getting the "bad guy". He again was sent to the director's office where according to him, he told her what happened. No communication with the director over this.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Today, I got a call from the Director saying he had bit again, and a second offense in one week called for him to be removed. She told me that a boy had taken a truck away from him, and he retaliated with a bite. This is the same boy who my son had repeatedly told me months ago had called him stupid, and it really upset him. Of course, I was very upset, and I told the director that the dynamics in this classroom just aren't working for him and I don't feel the situation is beneficial for the other kids or for my son. She told me how articulate he was, and how it was almost like talking to an adult and how he knew exactly what he should have done I don't want to set Carter up for failure, and by sending him there, I feel as though this is what I am doing... When I came to pick him up, the teacher I don't care for was there. The kids were all playing on the playground except for my son, who was standing in the corner of the playground and had to watch everyone play--which honestly broke my heart because in a preschooler's mind that has to be extremely frustrating after the fact and almost seems a tad cruel. When I walked up to get him, that teacher said, "I'm so sorry. I couldn't get there fast enough. I'm so sorry." I really couldn't even look at her--I didn't know what I could say I was so sickened by the situation. What she said also made me wonder what exactly she witnessed? Did she see what was happening and failed to respond? Was my son trying to tell the teacher and do the right thing, but impulsivity took over? When I asked him, he said he told the teacher that Zachary snatched the truck out of his handsbut I couldnt get out from him whether that was before or after he bit him? Anyway, I took my son to the classroom and got his stuff. We had a little talk about what had happened, what he should have done, why he did it, etc. We walked by the class, and the teacher I dont care for, patted him on the head, and said goodbye to him (which kind of irritated me as again, I cant help question her sincerity) and he said goodbye to his friends, and we were on our way.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px">My husband and I talked about what to do, and we both agreed that we would like to, if possible, switch him from the M/with-F class to the T/Th/F class to see how he would react to the different dynamics of different teachers, students, etc. There are a few kids from his class last year in there as well. My husband called the director who tried to talk him out of pulling Carter out of school (with the exception of switching classes), stating that he does participate in all activities, etc., and does get something positive out of being there. My husband used the analogy that if your son is drowning, you cant help but throw him in a lifesaverbasically, you cant just stand by and allow him to stay in a situation that is detrimental for him. This class is obviously lacking the structure that my son needs, as I witnessed when I was in there for his birthday. Well, the other class is now full, so she said she would see if anyone wanted to switch preschool days. As much as I hate to pull him out, I just cant see sending him back there. Every morning I drop him off, he is miserable, as am I. When I pick him up, my stomach is turning as well. This isnt the way it is supposed to be </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px">There are two months of school left, so I guess I feel if we have to start his summer vacation early, so be it. I am not going to make a big deal about him not going back if this is what ends up happening. I dont want him to blame himself in any way. He doesnt go every day so I dont think it will matter much to him that he is not going, although he occasionally (rarely) says he misses his friends.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px">This is where we are now. His well check is next Tuesday. </span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I began reading The Explosive Child this week and am finding it all very interesting, although I am not sure how this all plays in with children his age. I am only partway through so I am not sure if this is addressed later. I think I remember seeing a post about it on here, so I will check that out as well.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px">What are your thoughts about our preschool decision and what would you do? It is so hard because I want to do the right thing, but honestly cant send him back there in a situation where not only do I feel like he wont thrive, but is possibly damaging him.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Arial Unicode MS'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Thank you so much!</span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mama2carter, post: 412873, member: 11256"] [FONT=Arial Unicode MS][SIZE=3]Thank you so so so much for the wonderful advice! :hugs: I love what you had to say, Hound Dog, and think it makes such good sense. Thank you for taking the time to write a lengthy response![/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial Unicode MS][SIZE=3]This week has been especially difficult (at school). Again with miscommunication as to the whys, my son who is not a biter, got into trouble twice for biting this week, and actually had to be sent home today...this was the last straw. I just felt like today I had to finally listen to that little voice in my head that has been talking since December and telling me that this is not a beneficial situation for him to be in.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial Unicode MS][SIZE=3]On Wednesday, the teacher who did not witness what happened, brought him to the carpool line and told me she was told that he bit someone when she was not in the room. The other teacher claimed it was not out of play--I guess meaning it was either done maliciously or "unprovoked"--the 12 boys often get rowdy playing superheroes. However, my son told me (and the director) a different story. Apparently he was Wolverine--a character he learned at school--and was getting the "bad guy". He again was sent to the director's office where according to him, he told her what happened. No communication with the director over this.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial Unicode MS][SIZE=3]Today, I got a call from the Director saying he had bit again, and a second offense in one week called for him to be removed. She told me that a boy had taken a truck away from him, and he retaliated with a bite. This is the same boy who my son had repeatedly told me months ago had called him stupid, and it really upset him. Of course, I was very upset, and I told the director that the dynamics in this classroom just aren't working for him and I don't feel the situation is beneficial for the other kids or for my son. She told me how articulate he was, and how it was almost like talking to an adult and how he knew exactly what he should have done I don't want to set Carter up for failure, and by sending him there, I feel as though this is what I am doing... When I came to pick him up, the teacher I don't care for was there. The kids were all playing on the playground except for my son, who was standing in the corner of the playground and had to watch everyone play--which honestly broke my heart because in a preschooler's mind that has to be extremely frustrating after the fact and almost seems a tad cruel. When I walked up to get him, that teacher said, "I'm so sorry. I couldn't get there fast enough. I'm so sorry." I really couldn't even look at her--I didn't know what I could say I was so sickened by the situation. What she said also made me wonder what exactly she witnessed? Did she see what was happening and failed to respond? Was my son trying to tell the teacher and do the right thing, but impulsivity took over? When I asked him, he said he told the teacher that Zachary snatched the truck out of his handsbut I couldnt get out from him whether that was before or after he bit him? Anyway, I took my son to the classroom and got his stuff. We had a little talk about what had happened, what he should have done, why he did it, etc. We walked by the class, and the teacher I dont care for, patted him on the head, and said goodbye to him (which kind of irritated me as again, I cant help question her sincerity) and he said goodbye to his friends, and we were on our way.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial Unicode MS][SIZE=3]My husband and I talked about what to do, and we both agreed that we would like to, if possible, switch him from the M/with-F class to the T/Th/F class to see how he would react to the different dynamics of different teachers, students, etc. There are a few kids from his class last year in there as well. My husband called the director who tried to talk him out of pulling Carter out of school (with the exception of switching classes), stating that he does participate in all activities, etc., and does get something positive out of being there. My husband used the analogy that if your son is drowning, you cant help but throw him in a lifesaverbasically, you cant just stand by and allow him to stay in a situation that is detrimental for him. This class is obviously lacking the structure that my son needs, as I witnessed when I was in there for his birthday. Well, the other class is now full, so she said she would see if anyone wanted to switch preschool days. As much as I hate to pull him out, I just cant see sending him back there. Every morning I drop him off, he is miserable, as am I. When I pick him up, my stomach is turning as well. This isnt the way it is supposed to be There are two months of school left, so I guess I feel if we have to start his summer vacation early, so be it. I am not going to make a big deal about him not going back if this is what ends up happening. I dont want him to blame himself in any way. He doesnt go every day so I dont think it will matter much to him that he is not going, although he occasionally (rarely) says he misses his friends.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial Unicode MS][SIZE=3]This is where we are now. His well check is next Tuesday. I began reading The Explosive Child this week and am finding it all very interesting, although I am not sure how this all plays in with children his age. I am only partway through so I am not sure if this is addressed later. I think I remember seeing a post about it on here, so I will check that out as well.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial Unicode MS][SIZE=3]What are your thoughts about our preschool decision and what would you do? It is so hard because I want to do the right thing, but honestly cant send him back there in a situation where not only do I feel like he wont thrive, but is possibly damaging him.[/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial Unicode MS][SIZE=3]Thank you so much![/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Arial Unicode MS][SIZE=3][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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