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New and Feeling Guilty
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<blockquote data-quote="JKF" data-source="post: 448731" data-attributes="member: 12470"><p>Thank you so much for the reply and warm welcome!!</p><p></p><p>I agree that he is already very angry at being sent away and is definitely resentful of his little brother. He was living with his father and stepmother and they are the one's who initially sent him to residential but understandably he's angry at me as well. </p><p></p><p>I know that 1). he's angry at me because he feels that I abandoned him and left him with his father and then his father sent him away. Unfortunately it's much more complicated then that but in his mind it's black and white with no in between. No matter how many times I try to explain the circumstances back then he just doesn't understand.</p><p>2). he's extremely angry at his Bio Father and has many unresolved issues regarding their relationship.</p><p></p><p>The whole time he was in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) I tried to work as closely as possible with both him and his clinician in order to resolve these issues. I thought we had made significant progress but unfortunately I now see that these issues have not been resolved and we need to work much harder and address things on a much deeper level in order for him to get past this. </p><p></p><p>Since he's been home we have tried intensive in home therapy. It hasn't worked at all. At first it seemed like it was working but then his behavior went right back to where it was and even worse. He tells the therapists what they want to hear and he knows how to manipulate the situation so that it looks like he's trying to resolve his issues when in reality he's not even close to doing that. </p><p></p><p>The next step we took was the partial hospital program. He started last Friday and seemed to be doing well but then he stole the IPhone. Once he was confronted he denied it and went into a serious rage and was then hospitalized yesterday due to the suicide threat. </p><p></p><p>The reason we have to consider residential again is because we can't leave him alone for even a second. He needs round the clock care and supervision and we don't have the resources to do that at home. I will be there every step of the way and work as hard as I need to with him to get the help he needs however at this point I feel that the only way to accomplish this is in an out of home setting. It's killing me because I love him so much and I want him to have an amazing life but until he's ready to address his issues and let go of the past that's not going to happen.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JKF, post: 448731, member: 12470"] Thank you so much for the reply and warm welcome!! I agree that he is already very angry at being sent away and is definitely resentful of his little brother. He was living with his father and stepmother and they are the one's who initially sent him to residential but understandably he's angry at me as well. I know that 1). he's angry at me because he feels that I abandoned him and left him with his father and then his father sent him away. Unfortunately it's much more complicated then that but in his mind it's black and white with no in between. No matter how many times I try to explain the circumstances back then he just doesn't understand. 2). he's extremely angry at his Bio Father and has many unresolved issues regarding their relationship. The whole time he was in the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) I tried to work as closely as possible with both him and his clinician in order to resolve these issues. I thought we had made significant progress but unfortunately I now see that these issues have not been resolved and we need to work much harder and address things on a much deeper level in order for him to get past this. Since he's been home we have tried intensive in home therapy. It hasn't worked at all. At first it seemed like it was working but then his behavior went right back to where it was and even worse. He tells the therapists what they want to hear and he knows how to manipulate the situation so that it looks like he's trying to resolve his issues when in reality he's not even close to doing that. The next step we took was the partial hospital program. He started last Friday and seemed to be doing well but then he stole the IPhone. Once he was confronted he denied it and went into a serious rage and was then hospitalized yesterday due to the suicide threat. The reason we have to consider residential again is because we can't leave him alone for even a second. He needs round the clock care and supervision and we don't have the resources to do that at home. I will be there every step of the way and work as hard as I need to with him to get the help he needs however at this point I feel that the only way to accomplish this is in an out of home setting. It's killing me because I love him so much and I want him to have an amazing life but until he's ready to address his issues and let go of the past that's not going to happen. [/QUOTE]
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