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General Parenting
new and in need of advice please ( sorry -long)
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<blockquote data-quote="busywend" data-source="post: 230774" data-attributes="member: 391"><p>I have to say that I live this everyday. </p><p> </p><p>My difficult children stepmom feels similar things as you do. She was around when difficult child was little and they got along great. She does love my difficult child. </p><p> </p><p>But, in the last few years she has been too strict with her. Too strict for the stepmom role. It is different. difficult child as a teen is a challenge to say the least. Sometimes I do not want to be around her either. </p><p> </p><p>Recently, difficult children stepmom told her she could not wait until June (difficult child graduates) so she could say good riddance. </p><p> </p><p>That is something that comes out of the mouth of a frustrated person. </p><p> </p><p>She can never take it back or undo that statement. I know stepmom still loves difficult child, but she does not like her at all. At all. She wants her out of that house. And she got her wish, my difficult child no longer wants to go there. </p><p> </p><p>In fact, my difficult child has felt for a long time that stepmom did not want her there and has asked to stop going for some time now. </p><p> </p><p>Do not assume anything about your DSS right now. Do not assume he knows you love him. Do not assume he feels like you want him there. Do not assume he does not sense the love you have for your daughter as compared to the love you have for him. It is different. He sees that. It is natural, too. I am not judging, I am stating an opinion about all steps. </p><p> </p><p>I think MWM is on the right track, and it is because I see what it can do to the child. Rethink what you are trying to accomplish - along with your husband. Come to an agreement on how to accomplish what needs to be done. Bite your tongue until you can talk to husband about every goings on. </p><p> </p><p>I can not imagine how difficult it will be. But, it is most likely in the best interest of this child that you love and care for. Maybe not the same way as daughter, but you do love him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="busywend, post: 230774, member: 391"] I have to say that I live this everyday. My difficult children stepmom feels similar things as you do. She was around when difficult child was little and they got along great. She does love my difficult child. But, in the last few years she has been too strict with her. Too strict for the stepmom role. It is different. difficult child as a teen is a challenge to say the least. Sometimes I do not want to be around her either. Recently, difficult children stepmom told her she could not wait until June (difficult child graduates) so she could say good riddance. That is something that comes out of the mouth of a frustrated person. She can never take it back or undo that statement. I know stepmom still loves difficult child, but she does not like her at all. At all. She wants her out of that house. And she got her wish, my difficult child no longer wants to go there. In fact, my difficult child has felt for a long time that stepmom did not want her there and has asked to stop going for some time now. Do not assume anything about your DSS right now. Do not assume he knows you love him. Do not assume he feels like you want him there. Do not assume he does not sense the love you have for your daughter as compared to the love you have for him. It is different. He sees that. It is natural, too. I am not judging, I am stating an opinion about all steps. I think MWM is on the right track, and it is because I see what it can do to the child. Rethink what you are trying to accomplish - along with your husband. Come to an agreement on how to accomplish what needs to be done. Bite your tongue until you can talk to husband about every goings on. I can not imagine how difficult it will be. But, it is most likely in the best interest of this child that you love and care for. Maybe not the same way as daughter, but you do love him. [/QUOTE]
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