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General Parenting
new and in need of advice please ( sorry -long)
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<blockquote data-quote="Wiped Out" data-source="post: 230895" data-attributes="member: 1631"><p>Welcome Tunaq. You are in a difficult situation. I have no experience with step children so don't know how good my thoughts will be. </p><p></p><p>It would be incredibly hard to back off but for now probably a good idea. It's good you realize you and your husband need to be on the same page. Hopefully he will get to that point and stick with it. husband and I don't always agree but when we disagree we don't do it front of the kids. Your husband is definitely undermining you there even if he isn't aware of it. </p><p></p><p>Family counseling would be great like you said but even if the others won't go you might want to for yourself. Raising a challenging child has me seeing a therapist. It's one of the best things I've done for myself. </p><p></p><p>It is frustrating when teens grades start to go down and they are capable of more. My easy child is going through that right now. She is definitely capable of As and Bs but at progress report time was failing two classes. She has the opportunity for a fully paid tuition scholarship that will probably go out the door soon. It's so hard for me to sit back when I know she is capable of more. I don't always and it never turns out good and what I'm learning is that she seems to rebel more the more I push. I'm trying hard right now to hold back and let her feel the natural consequences of her actions. For her failing means not only maybe losing the scholarship (which I'm not sure she fully appreciates as she is a sophomore) but also she will be forced back to her home school which she definitely doesn't want. Believe me it isn't easy to step back. </p><p></p><p>My son, who is my difficult child, is very disrespectful to women. It is something we are working hard on but at this point not getting very far with. </p><p></p><p>So mainly just wanted to add my welcome and share some thoughts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Wiped Out, post: 230895, member: 1631"] Welcome Tunaq. You are in a difficult situation. I have no experience with step children so don't know how good my thoughts will be. It would be incredibly hard to back off but for now probably a good idea. It's good you realize you and your husband need to be on the same page. Hopefully he will get to that point and stick with it. husband and I don't always agree but when we disagree we don't do it front of the kids. Your husband is definitely undermining you there even if he isn't aware of it. Family counseling would be great like you said but even if the others won't go you might want to for yourself. Raising a challenging child has me seeing a therapist. It's one of the best things I've done for myself. It is frustrating when teens grades start to go down and they are capable of more. My easy child is going through that right now. She is definitely capable of As and Bs but at progress report time was failing two classes. She has the opportunity for a fully paid tuition scholarship that will probably go out the door soon. It's so hard for me to sit back when I know she is capable of more. I don't always and it never turns out good and what I'm learning is that she seems to rebel more the more I push. I'm trying hard right now to hold back and let her feel the natural consequences of her actions. For her failing means not only maybe losing the scholarship (which I'm not sure she fully appreciates as she is a sophomore) but also she will be forced back to her home school which she definitely doesn't want. Believe me it isn't easy to step back. My son, who is my difficult child, is very disrespectful to women. It is something we are working hard on but at this point not getting very far with. So mainly just wanted to add my welcome and share some thoughts. [/QUOTE]
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