Scott I have to say you cettainly have done a lot of interspection and it seems like you are going through the twelve steps on your own. I have finally come to that acceptance you talk about, it took a long time. I held out hope until all I did was cry when I would see her friends moving on with their lives in a constructive manner and she was stuck in this self destructive mode.
When my daughter was in rehab we had family education day on Sundays and over and over again they told us that just about every addict said they were never comfortable in their own skin, it was a reoccurring theme. For our daughter she felt different because she was adopted. It took her being homeless and having nothing to finally come to terms with herself and not try to fit in. What's really sad is that so many of us don't discover that until adulthood, wish there was some way to teach our kids that.
Lil you described me perfectly at one time. I kept looking for the "whys" or "hows" as if that would help. I would walk through the mall and disolve into tears if I walked into a store I use to shop at for my daughter. I had to call my other daughter one time and ask her to meet me at the mall to do a return...I couldn't walk into the store.
