Normal
Sounds like your husband realizes that your son is destructively strong willed right now. My guess is that as much as you feel bad and want to help him - he doesn't want your help right now - he is convinced his way is better. My son can be that way too and I fear the only real way to help him is to let him try his brilliant ideas and then hopefully dig himself out if the damage isn't too bad. I may sound harsh but we have tried to help for a long time and when they scoff at all of your attempts there's not much else to do.