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New and VERY stressed out!
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<blockquote data-quote="Dharmamama" data-source="post: 374401"><p>Hi there,</p><p></p><p>My difficult child, husband and I just got back from court where our son was being tried for credit card fraud(accidentally downgraded to petit theft by prosecutor) and run away charges. The assault against my husband and the drug para. Charges hadn't yet cleared the system to be presented to the judge. During the session, my difficult child's public defender made it sound as if we had "thrown up our hands and given up parenting our son and have thrown him to the wolves" so the judge ordered us (the victims) to take parenting classes and seek family counseling in spite of the fact that the state had supplied a mental health statemnent that specifically stated that we " the parents" didn't need counseling or classes because we've been doing everything in our power to help this kid who is simply unable to improve because he doesn't take ownership for his choices and blames everything on us.</p><p></p><p>The state got involved because we wouldn't allow our son to live with his drug dealer and he had someone report usto CPS like he told us he would. The social worker closed the file as unsubstantiated but not before we spent $2500 for an attorney and meeting various demands from CPS. </p><p></p><p>We have been going to marriage counseling because of the stress of raising this child, and frankly after the state's involvement, we're too scared to parent as it is and are completely fed up with being told what to do. Why are we being punished by the court? Oh, yeah, because the judge doesn't put any credibility in the diagnosis of the state's psy doctor. And believes that conduct disorder is just a term that's thrown around when a child doesn't want to follow the rules of it's parents so we need to work on our relationship some more.</p><p></p><p>I can't breathe I feel so angry and violated by the court's position.</p><p></p><p>We didn't break any laws, why are we having our freedoms affected? And can somebody please explain the justice in our having to foot the bill for the public defender who is our adversary?</p><p></p><p>Thanks in advance,</p><p>Jana</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dharmamama, post: 374401"] Hi there, My difficult child, husband and I just got back from court where our son was being tried for credit card fraud(accidentally downgraded to petit theft by prosecutor) and run away charges. The assault against my husband and the drug para. Charges hadn't yet cleared the system to be presented to the judge. During the session, my difficult child's public defender made it sound as if we had "thrown up our hands and given up parenting our son and have thrown him to the wolves" so the judge ordered us (the victims) to take parenting classes and seek family counseling in spite of the fact that the state had supplied a mental health statemnent that specifically stated that we " the parents" didn't need counseling or classes because we've been doing everything in our power to help this kid who is simply unable to improve because he doesn't take ownership for his choices and blames everything on us. The state got involved because we wouldn't allow our son to live with his drug dealer and he had someone report usto CPS like he told us he would. The social worker closed the file as unsubstantiated but not before we spent $2500 for an attorney and meeting various demands from CPS. We have been going to marriage counseling because of the stress of raising this child, and frankly after the state's involvement, we're too scared to parent as it is and are completely fed up with being told what to do. Why are we being punished by the court? Oh, yeah, because the judge doesn't put any credibility in the diagnosis of the state's psy doctor. And believes that conduct disorder is just a term that's thrown around when a child doesn't want to follow the rules of it's parents so we need to work on our relationship some more. I can't breathe I feel so angry and violated by the court's position. We didn't break any laws, why are we having our freedoms affected? And can somebody please explain the justice in our having to foot the bill for the public defender who is our adversary? Thanks in advance, Jana [/QUOTE]
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