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<blockquote data-quote="BestICan" data-source="post: 12311" data-attributes="member: 3413"><p>Everyone, thanks so much for your thoughtful responses!</p><p></p><p><strong>Fran,</strong> thank you for the reality check that I needed. "Not the end of the world"...as silly as this sounds, that's a concept I hadn't actually considered until now.</p><p></p><p><strong>Janet,</strong> you have a very interesting theory, indeed! I didn't know that the dosage for mood disorders is higher than for seizures. Sheesh, if it would help to just give the guy a higher dose, I can't really see why we have anything to lose by trying. We are definitely using behavior mod techniques - as many parents here probably can identify with, we are definitely WAAAY beyond "parenting 101" stuff that you see in books. Our therapist has been really great in suggesting ways to talk to difficult child that seem to help. </p><p></p><p><strong>Sharon,</strong> thanks for the hugs! Most definitely needed. </p><p></p><p><strong>Pepperidge,</strong> thanks for your great ideas and support. I see what you mean about prescribing for the wrong disorder, and how we might be ahead of the curve. That thought is VERY comforting. To answer your questions, we're in Los Angeles and sadly, we have an HMO that stinks with regard to choices in behavioral health practitioners. We've been paying out of pocket for therapy/psychiatric consult because we are working hard to find the best professionals who have been recommended by people we trust. So, heck yeah, I'll take any recommendations this board can give!</p><p></p><p>To answer your other question, the biggest most difficult problem is when difficult child will just terrorize easy child for no reason that I can see, other than he's feeling agitated. He'll just look up from his breakfast cereal and growl loudly at him, or see him across the room and start walking toward him with this scary zombie walk, and if they're in the car it's just relentless. </p><p></p><p>I know that some amount of sibling teasing is typical, but it's SO SO SO hard hard, sometimes impossible, to redirect him or get him to stop. Also, easy child is only a young 3 while difficult child is 7, so it's especially mean and scary that he's doing this. On good days he acts protective toward his brother but on bad (most) days he doesn't seem to get, or care, that his brother is really terrified by him. One tactic that our therapist has recommended is to stop it from escalating by saying in a kind voice, "I see you're having a really hard time stopping right now. But can you stop anyway?" or to just notice aloud, without judgment, "It's fun for you to scare your brother, huh? Is he enjoying it, too?" But that doesn't seem to work, and I'm sorry, but "mama bear" comes out when someone is threatening my son, even if the one doing the threatening is my other son! So, again, heck yeah, I'll take any advice you can give!</p><p></p><p><strong>Nomad,</strong> thanks for your input. I'm sorry things are rough with your daughter, and I know how hard it is to deal with impulsivity issues! I'm so glad things are going well with your spouse, and I'll take that advice to heart. I love how you mention that the diagnosis is less important than the solution. Thanks for putting that into perspective.</p><p></p><p>All my best to you!</p><p></p><p>Jen (forgot to put my name in my siggy - will work on that!)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BestICan, post: 12311, member: 3413"] Everyone, thanks so much for your thoughtful responses! [b]Fran,[/b] thank you for the reality check that I needed. "Not the end of the world"...as silly as this sounds, that's a concept I hadn't actually considered until now. [b]Janet,[/b] you have a very interesting theory, indeed! I didn't know that the dosage for mood disorders is higher than for seizures. Sheesh, if it would help to just give the guy a higher dose, I can't really see why we have anything to lose by trying. We are definitely using behavior mod techniques - as many parents here probably can identify with, we are definitely WAAAY beyond "parenting 101" stuff that you see in books. Our therapist has been really great in suggesting ways to talk to difficult child that seem to help. [b]Sharon,[/b] thanks for the hugs! Most definitely needed. [b]Pepperidge,[/b] thanks for your great ideas and support. I see what you mean about prescribing for the wrong disorder, and how we might be ahead of the curve. That thought is VERY comforting. To answer your questions, we're in Los Angeles and sadly, we have an HMO that stinks with regard to choices in behavioral health practitioners. We've been paying out of pocket for therapy/psychiatric consult because we are working hard to find the best professionals who have been recommended by people we trust. So, heck yeah, I'll take any recommendations this board can give! To answer your other question, the biggest most difficult problem is when difficult child will just terrorize easy child for no reason that I can see, other than he's feeling agitated. He'll just look up from his breakfast cereal and growl loudly at him, or see him across the room and start walking toward him with this scary zombie walk, and if they're in the car it's just relentless. I know that some amount of sibling teasing is typical, but it's SO SO SO hard hard, sometimes impossible, to redirect him or get him to stop. Also, easy child is only a young 3 while difficult child is 7, so it's especially mean and scary that he's doing this. On good days he acts protective toward his brother but on bad (most) days he doesn't seem to get, or care, that his brother is really terrified by him. One tactic that our therapist has recommended is to stop it from escalating by saying in a kind voice, "I see you're having a really hard time stopping right now. But can you stop anyway?" or to just notice aloud, without judgment, "It's fun for you to scare your brother, huh? Is he enjoying it, too?" But that doesn't seem to work, and I'm sorry, but "mama bear" comes out when someone is threatening my son, even if the one doing the threatening is my other son! So, again, heck yeah, I'll take any advice you can give! [b]Nomad,[/b] thanks for your input. I'm sorry things are rough with your daughter, and I know how hard it is to deal with impulsivity issues! I'm so glad things are going well with your spouse, and I'll take that advice to heart. I love how you mention that the diagnosis is less important than the solution. Thanks for putting that into perspective. All my best to you! Jen (forgot to put my name in my siggy - will work on that!) [/QUOTE]
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