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New...cut contact with difficult child 1
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 380353" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Just a few thoughts.</p><p>First of all, your son is likely partly the way he is because of his bio. dad. He may be gone from difficult child's life, but 50% of him are his bio. dad's genes. Was he a substance abuser? That doesn't help, I know, but it helps explain how he became susceptible to drugs and alcohol. Another thing...likely difficult child 1 has been using drugs and alcohol for a very long time. They are good at hiding it. Now onto what you did as far as cutting him off:</p><p></p><p>I don't judge what people do. However, I kept in contact with my daughter during her drug days. I didn't condone her behavior or give her ANY money, but I did talk to her in the hopes that maybe she would decide to clean up. SHE DID! I think my sane voice helped her. When she got sick of herself, she needed somebody to give her direction and that was me. </p><p></p><p>However, some kids don't straighten out. It is best at times to let them fall on their own. But I wouldn't do it because he didn't turn out the way you wanted him to. Unfortunately, that is very common, but in my opinion it's still best to keep some sort of lifeline going on. Our own disappointment is something we have to deal with. On verbal abuse, well, none of my kids do that to me because they know I will just hang up. I refuse to listen to that. It doesn't occur anymore.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you and I hope you can find some peace. It isn't easy. I know first hand how hard it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 380353, member: 1550"] Just a few thoughts. First of all, your son is likely partly the way he is because of his bio. dad. He may be gone from difficult child's life, but 50% of him are his bio. dad's genes. Was he a substance abuser? That doesn't help, I know, but it helps explain how he became susceptible to drugs and alcohol. Another thing...likely difficult child 1 has been using drugs and alcohol for a very long time. They are good at hiding it. Now onto what you did as far as cutting him off: I don't judge what people do. However, I kept in contact with my daughter during her drug days. I didn't condone her behavior or give her ANY money, but I did talk to her in the hopes that maybe she would decide to clean up. SHE DID! I think my sane voice helped her. When she got sick of herself, she needed somebody to give her direction and that was me. However, some kids don't straighten out. It is best at times to let them fall on their own. But I wouldn't do it because he didn't turn out the way you wanted him to. Unfortunately, that is very common, but in my opinion it's still best to keep some sort of lifeline going on. Our own disappointment is something we have to deal with. On verbal abuse, well, none of my kids do that to me because they know I will just hang up. I refuse to listen to that. It doesn't occur anymore. Hugs to you and I hope you can find some peace. It isn't easy. I know first hand how hard it is. [/QUOTE]
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