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New...cut contact with difficult child 1
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<blockquote data-quote="RPS" data-source="post: 380363"><p>Hi MidwestMom! Thank you for responding!</p><p></p><p>I think maybe my first post was confusing. I don't think that difficult child 1 has a substance abuse issue. Before he was 21, I know he drank at times and from the emails to his younger brother, I now know that he smoked pot. He's never given me a reason to think that he was using harder drugs or using on a regular basis. Then again, since he has been out of my house and lives quite far away, it's possible he has developed problems.</p><p></p><p>My issue with him is his attack on me for telling him that I don't appreciate him not telling me that his younger brother (who is only 15) was not only using again, but had escalated the use to include alcohol, pills and dealing. I am totally disappointed that he didn't turn out anything like I had hoped, but up until this week, I've been in regular contact with him and just avoided much talk about his situation. He's on his own, so it's definitely up to him to make changes if he wants. His total lack of respect for me and attacking me via email is simply the straw that broke the camel's back. I have done for him, supported him, you name it, while he did whatever he wanted to...and now that I don't want him to be comparing notes with his younger brother about drug use, I'm the bad guy.</p><p></p><p>I need to concentrate on getting difficult child 3 (the 15 year old) clean. HIS father is likely an alcoholic and used to smoke pot on a regular basis, so I have no doubt that our kids are at risk for being substance abusers. This is something that I have been on the lookout for for a long time.</p><p></p><p>I do hope, though, that difficult child 3 was NOT using pot for a lot longer than I knew about it. I'm fairly certain that this only started about 6 months ago because a year ago, he had a total change of friends. I am reasonably sure his old friends are not into the drug/drinking scene. We have 3 years to get difficult child 3 straight and I hope we can.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RPS, post: 380363"] Hi MidwestMom! Thank you for responding! I think maybe my first post was confusing. I don't think that difficult child 1 has a substance abuse issue. Before he was 21, I know he drank at times and from the emails to his younger brother, I now know that he smoked pot. He's never given me a reason to think that he was using harder drugs or using on a regular basis. Then again, since he has been out of my house and lives quite far away, it's possible he has developed problems. My issue with him is his attack on me for telling him that I don't appreciate him not telling me that his younger brother (who is only 15) was not only using again, but had escalated the use to include alcohol, pills and dealing. I am totally disappointed that he didn't turn out anything like I had hoped, but up until this week, I've been in regular contact with him and just avoided much talk about his situation. He's on his own, so it's definitely up to him to make changes if he wants. His total lack of respect for me and attacking me via email is simply the straw that broke the camel's back. I have done for him, supported him, you name it, while he did whatever he wanted to...and now that I don't want him to be comparing notes with his younger brother about drug use, I'm the bad guy. I need to concentrate on getting difficult child 3 (the 15 year old) clean. HIS father is likely an alcoholic and used to smoke pot on a regular basis, so I have no doubt that our kids are at risk for being substance abusers. This is something that I have been on the lookout for for a long time. I do hope, though, that difficult child 3 was NOT using pot for a lot longer than I knew about it. I'm fairly certain that this only started about 6 months ago because a year ago, he had a total change of friends. I am reasonably sure his old friends are not into the drug/drinking scene. We have 3 years to get difficult child 3 straight and I hope we can. [/QUOTE]
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