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New diagnosis -- school questions
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 225828" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Hello doglover, smallworld asked many of the questions I would have asked. I get the feel that the tendency is to think this is a behavior problem and that this must mean he has control. If any of us have learned anything is that in the area of behavior or educational world nothing is black and white. Spectrums cover from severe to slight. </p><p>IQ numbers in the real world are just a number that are supported or negated by behavior and choices. My difficult child has a high average IQ yet he can not make change despite being tutored and helped every year of his life since 4 yrs old. He can not write a paragraph but he knows quite a bit of information on history, mythology, science, movies etc, etc, etc. </p><p></p><p>Any chance your little guy suffers Fetal Alcohol syndrome? Just throwing that out since the mother dabbled in quite a few illegal substances. If mom is mentally ill, any chance you can find the diagnosis? Family background is important. </p><p></p><p>Your fiancee definitely should have a written report. I have reports that run 30 to 40 pages. </p><p></p><p>The bottom line is this child is not functioning at the same level as his peers. Not academically, socially or emotionally. He is not very likeable and he makes it difficult to help him. Identifying the specific behaviors, specific learning obstacles, finding the causes, working on a plan to help him find some success with professionsals, schools, family and parents is the best thing the dad(and you) can do to help this boy. The ultimate goal is to help him grow up to be a functioning member of society. </p><p></p><p>We all question if the behavior is a choice for our kids. In regards to my son I feel like he is looking at the same world I am but with vision that is not the same. Sort of wearing someone else's glasses. Nothing fits as it should. He makes choices that aren't always correct but he is basing his behavior and reasoning with a different idea of what is right or wrong or when to use those behaviors. </p><p>Their world is confusing and scary and darn frustrating. Doesn't make them any easier to live with but it makes us look at them sympathetically and realizing their limitations.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 225828, member: 3"] Hello doglover, smallworld asked many of the questions I would have asked. I get the feel that the tendency is to think this is a behavior problem and that this must mean he has control. If any of us have learned anything is that in the area of behavior or educational world nothing is black and white. Spectrums cover from severe to slight. IQ numbers in the real world are just a number that are supported or negated by behavior and choices. My difficult child has a high average IQ yet he can not make change despite being tutored and helped every year of his life since 4 yrs old. He can not write a paragraph but he knows quite a bit of information on history, mythology, science, movies etc, etc, etc. Any chance your little guy suffers Fetal Alcohol syndrome? Just throwing that out since the mother dabbled in quite a few illegal substances. If mom is mentally ill, any chance you can find the diagnosis? Family background is important. Your fiancee definitely should have a written report. I have reports that run 30 to 40 pages. The bottom line is this child is not functioning at the same level as his peers. Not academically, socially or emotionally. He is not very likeable and he makes it difficult to help him. Identifying the specific behaviors, specific learning obstacles, finding the causes, working on a plan to help him find some success with professionsals, schools, family and parents is the best thing the dad(and you) can do to help this boy. The ultimate goal is to help him grow up to be a functioning member of society. We all question if the behavior is a choice for our kids. In regards to my son I feel like he is looking at the same world I am but with vision that is not the same. Sort of wearing someone else's glasses. Nothing fits as it should. He makes choices that aren't always correct but he is basing his behavior and reasoning with a different idea of what is right or wrong or when to use those behaviors. Their world is confusing and scary and darn frustrating. Doesn't make them any easier to live with but it makes us look at them sympathetically and realizing their limitations. [/QUOTE]
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