Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Failure to Thrive
New forum?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 680807" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>As this conversation evolves I am interested in how each of us sees it. Do we belong where others feel we fit, or where we feel accepted, belonging, and included? Who do we define as "like us" and as "accepting us as we are"? What is it that makes us, here, right now, feel different? Is this in the main subjective or is it real? I mean, if we were willing and able to see ourselves more as part of the larger group of parents, would we be in the main suppressing our needs in order to feel we belong, or would we become stronger?</p><p></p><p>I do not know. I think that may be the vantage point from which Nancy is viewing this. Like those circumscribed identity groups whereby people began to define themselves, in the late 90's, which came to enter to the political arena and still is. The more we become fragmented, the less we feel connected to the whole. Until it is only us.</p><p></p><p>I am wondering how it feels to be our children. I know for my own son this is an existential battle.</p><p></p><p>I know that it is central in our relationship, his with me and with M and with us together. When I said to him, "you have changed in these four years since you left home" he answered: "No I haven't. It is just that then you put up with it *meaning the behaviors that I now find so hard to tolerate. You tolerated it. Now you don't."</p><p></p><p>This negotiation seems to be a fundamentally important one for many of us who struggle to feel we really belong anywhere. Or feel that the cost of belonging is such that it is not really belonging at all.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 680807, member: 18958"] As this conversation evolves I am interested in how each of us sees it. Do we belong where others feel we fit, or where we feel accepted, belonging, and included? Who do we define as "like us" and as "accepting us as we are"? What is it that makes us, here, right now, feel different? Is this in the main subjective or is it real? I mean, if we were willing and able to see ourselves more as part of the larger group of parents, would we be in the main suppressing our needs in order to feel we belong, or would we become stronger? I do not know. I think that may be the vantage point from which Nancy is viewing this. Like those circumscribed identity groups whereby people began to define themselves, in the late 90's, which came to enter to the political arena and still is. The more we become fragmented, the less we feel connected to the whole. Until it is only us. I am wondering how it feels to be our children. I know for my own son this is an existential battle. I know that it is central in our relationship, his with me and with M and with us together. When I said to him, "you have changed in these four years since you left home" he answered: "No I haven't. It is just that then you put up with it *meaning the behaviors that I now find so hard to tolerate. You tolerated it. Now you don't." This negotiation seems to be a fundamentally important one for many of us who struggle to feel we really belong anywhere. Or feel that the cost of belonging is such that it is not really belonging at all. COPA [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Failure to Thrive
New forum?
Top