Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
new heer and could use some help...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="ksm" data-source="post: 449993" data-attributes="member: 12511"><p>If respite is available, I certainly recommend it. I'd call social services to see what is available. We all need time to just relax.</p><p></p><p></p><p>It's not easy. Keep us posted.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Even though the kids had been in the system for 2+ years (1 year foster family, 1+years with us) the courts pulled a fast one at the parents termination hearing. The judge asked the parents if they would sign a form naming us as the adoptive family, and they did. Then that afternoon, we were informed that this constituted a private adoption and that the state would not pay for the adoption costs, continue the health care on the girls til 18, provide respite care or pay a monthly subsidy to offset the costs of raising two children. But, if they were adopted by strangers, the state would have given the adoptive family all those incentives.</p><p></p><p>Basically, I think the court did that to protect themselves and SRS because our grandchildren are tribal members and all the time they were in SRS custody, they didn't follow ICWA (Indian Child Welfare Act). So by getting the parents to sign the form, the court did not have to prove the parents unfit, and then protected themselves for not following ICWA, which is a federal law. Long story, we got the kids, that is the main thing. It would have been nice to be able to provide some of the extras for them that would have been easier if it was a state adoption.</p><p></p><p>If they were not tribal members, SRS would have had these girls on the fast road to adoption. The CASA and family support worker warned us that they were highly adoptable children. </p><p></p><p>Today, has been so-so. difficult child is highly irritated with her sister. If her sister sings a song, she yells at her to stop... but if she whistles contantly and is asked to stop, then it is "I CAN'T HELP IT!!!" She also makes this irritating squeaky noise, that I believe is made by pulling air in thru the small gap between her teeth. Not sure how she does it, but if you are sitting next to her you can go bonkers after a while. I usually just try to go to a different room. She says she doesn't know why the squeak happens - she said their is a hole in the roof of her mouth and it just makes the noise. Yea right. She has an excuse for every thing.</p><p></p><p>She wants everyone to tolerate her quirks... but doesn't want to do the same for any one else. KSM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ksm, post: 449993, member: 12511"] If respite is available, I certainly recommend it. I'd call social services to see what is available. We all need time to just relax. It's not easy. Keep us posted. Even though the kids had been in the system for 2+ years (1 year foster family, 1+years with us) the courts pulled a fast one at the parents termination hearing. The judge asked the parents if they would sign a form naming us as the adoptive family, and they did. Then that afternoon, we were informed that this constituted a private adoption and that the state would not pay for the adoption costs, continue the health care on the girls til 18, provide respite care or pay a monthly subsidy to offset the costs of raising two children. But, if they were adopted by strangers, the state would have given the adoptive family all those incentives. Basically, I think the court did that to protect themselves and SRS because our grandchildren are tribal members and all the time they were in SRS custody, they didn't follow ICWA (Indian Child Welfare Act). So by getting the parents to sign the form, the court did not have to prove the parents unfit, and then protected themselves for not following ICWA, which is a federal law. Long story, we got the kids, that is the main thing. It would have been nice to be able to provide some of the extras for them that would have been easier if it was a state adoption. If they were not tribal members, SRS would have had these girls on the fast road to adoption. The CASA and family support worker warned us that they were highly adoptable children. Today, has been so-so. difficult child is highly irritated with her sister. If her sister sings a song, she yells at her to stop... but if she whistles contantly and is asked to stop, then it is "I CAN'T HELP IT!!!" She also makes this irritating squeaky noise, that I believe is made by pulling air in thru the small gap between her teeth. Not sure how she does it, but if you are sitting next to her you can go bonkers after a while. I usually just try to go to a different room. She says she doesn't know why the squeak happens - she said their is a hole in the roof of her mouth and it just makes the noise. Yea right. She has an excuse for every thing. She wants everyone to tolerate her quirks... but doesn't want to do the same for any one else. KSM [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
new heer and could use some help...
Top