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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 62815"><p>I'm certainly not advocating one way or the other on whether you should stay in the relationship. That is a very personal decision. I do think it's important to hear from others the effects a child with mental illness has on the family; not to scare you or deter you, but just to offer information. My children have been together all their lives and it's not easy on either of them. There has been a lot of resentment for both of them and it's been a long, hard road. </p><p></p><p>I see that the child is bipolar, but I don't see any medications listed for bipolar. If he is bipolar and it's not stabilized, adhd medications will likely make him unstable. Conventional wisdom says to stabilized the bipolar and only then add medications for adhd. We have some members who have children with both bipolar and adhd whose kids can't tolerate stims at all. </p><p></p><p>Like I said in an earlier post, I do think a neuropsychologist evaluation is important especially with bio-mom's history. We spent a lot of years spinning wheels until we had a neuropsychologist evaluation. We got more answers out of a few hours of testing than we did with years of therapy and psychiatrists. The neuropysch evaluation will also help you develop a therapeutic plan for the child. </p><p></p><p>It can take a long time to get the right diagnosis and many of us have gone through many misdiagnoses before we hit the right one. So many disorders mimic each other that it can be very difficult to sort it out. And once you do get a proper diagnosis, getting the right medications in place (if medications are called for) is another process unto itself. Then as you get the medications sorted out, the child goes through puberty and the process often starts again. There is no quick fix. It's years of advocating and perseverance. </p><p></p><p>Good luck to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 62815"] I'm certainly not advocating one way or the other on whether you should stay in the relationship. That is a very personal decision. I do think it's important to hear from others the effects a child with mental illness has on the family; not to scare you or deter you, but just to offer information. My children have been together all their lives and it's not easy on either of them. There has been a lot of resentment for both of them and it's been a long, hard road. I see that the child is bipolar, but I don't see any medications listed for bipolar. If he is bipolar and it's not stabilized, adhd medications will likely make him unstable. Conventional wisdom says to stabilized the bipolar and only then add medications for adhd. We have some members who have children with both bipolar and adhd whose kids can't tolerate stims at all. Like I said in an earlier post, I do think a neuropsychologist evaluation is important especially with bio-mom's history. We spent a lot of years spinning wheels until we had a neuropsychologist evaluation. We got more answers out of a few hours of testing than we did with years of therapy and psychiatrists. The neuropysch evaluation will also help you develop a therapeutic plan for the child. It can take a long time to get the right diagnosis and many of us have gone through many misdiagnoses before we hit the right one. So many disorders mimic each other that it can be very difficult to sort it out. And once you do get a proper diagnosis, getting the right medications in place (if medications are called for) is another process unto itself. Then as you get the medications sorted out, the child goes through puberty and the process often starts again. There is no quick fix. It's years of advocating and perseverance. Good luck to you. [/QUOTE]
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