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New here. “Loaning” rent and buying food for nearly 19-year old who just squandered $30,000
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 648470" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>My opinion is that you are dealing with a child that has some sort of personality disorder. As a parent of a personality disordered child, what you write is so familiar to me that after only getting through the first parts of it my thoughts were screaming "sociopath' however I am not here to diagnose. Here is a link to the Mayo Clinic on personality disorders: <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-disorders/basics/symptoms/con-20030111" target="_blank">http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-disorders/basics/symptoms/con-20030111</a></p><p>It was later for me, around my daughters age of 33-34 that I discovered through my own therapy what was wrong with my daughter. She displayed so many similar personality problems, though mainly grandiosity, manipulation and control (hallmarks of being a sociopath). Going to private therapy for yourself definitely helps because it leads you to answers to what is wrong with your child through description of behaviors. Even your son thinks that he may be a sociopath. This is not to say that I do. There are other personality disorders that could fit your son, only you, who has dealt with him for a lifetime can accurately figure out what "fits". What I would look at : Anti-social PD, Borderline PD and Narcissistic PD, Sociopath . A lot of the issues you wrote about go hand in hand with the personality disorders such as drinking, drugging, gambling, grandiosity, manipulation and control because people with these types of personality disorders do not believe the rules of life apply to them. They literally can not learn from their bad experiences, they are blind to the consequences. Most therapist won't treat certain types of personality disordered individuals because they believe that unlike mental disorders, personality disorders are untreatable. (they do treat other mental issues that are co-diagnosed with PD's) Example I like to use: it would be like you trying to change your personality to be more grandiose, manipulative and controlling. Probably that could not happen because that is not who you are at the base of your personality.</p><p>Also I want to point out, it was only recently, in therapy, that my therapist asked me a very important question that I will put to you here: Who, in your family (or his fathers) does your son's behavior remind you of? If you can answer that question you know then that these problems are in his DNA and there was nothing you could do to change the outcome of who your son has become. I know this helped me a lot, because I put myself through such guilt and blame for many years before being asked this question.</p><p>Again these are just my ideas and opinions. Take what you like and leave the rest.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 648470, member: 18366"] My opinion is that you are dealing with a child that has some sort of personality disorder. As a parent of a personality disordered child, what you write is so familiar to me that after only getting through the first parts of it my thoughts were screaming "sociopath' however I am not here to diagnose. Here is a link to the Mayo Clinic on personality disorders: [URL]http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-disorders/basics/symptoms/con-20030111[/URL] It was later for me, around my daughters age of 33-34 that I discovered through my own therapy what was wrong with my daughter. She displayed so many similar personality problems, though mainly grandiosity, manipulation and control (hallmarks of being a sociopath). Going to private therapy for yourself definitely helps because it leads you to answers to what is wrong with your child through description of behaviors. Even your son thinks that he may be a sociopath. This is not to say that I do. There are other personality disorders that could fit your son, only you, who has dealt with him for a lifetime can accurately figure out what "fits". What I would look at : Anti-social PD, Borderline PD and Narcissistic PD, Sociopath . A lot of the issues you wrote about go hand in hand with the personality disorders such as drinking, drugging, gambling, grandiosity, manipulation and control because people with these types of personality disorders do not believe the rules of life apply to them. They literally can not learn from their bad experiences, they are blind to the consequences. Most therapist won't treat certain types of personality disordered individuals because they believe that unlike mental disorders, personality disorders are untreatable. (they do treat other mental issues that are co-diagnosed with PD's) Example I like to use: it would be like you trying to change your personality to be more grandiose, manipulative and controlling. Probably that could not happen because that is not who you are at the base of your personality. Also I want to point out, it was only recently, in therapy, that my therapist asked me a very important question that I will put to you here: Who, in your family (or his fathers) does your son's behavior remind you of? If you can answer that question you know then that these problems are in his DNA and there was nothing you could do to change the outcome of who your son has become. I know this helped me a lot, because I put myself through such guilt and blame for many years before being asked this question. Again these are just my ideas and opinions. Take what you like and leave the rest. [/QUOTE]
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