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New here, and having a very bad week.
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<blockquote data-quote="ItSnowed" data-source="post: 518320" data-attributes="member: 14256"><p>So to make a really long story short.....at the age of 3 my son was diagnosed with ADHD. They tried to get me to medicate him then, but I just assumed little boys should run around and play, climb on things, take things apart, etc..... I refused medication at the time. We had gone to see a psychiatrist at the time because I had seen several behaviors (scratching at his face when frustrated until open wounds occurred, destructiveness such as cutting everything up in the middle of the night with scissors {including cutting his sister's hair off}). </p><p></p><p>He is now 15. We have gone through life believing the ADHD diagnosis because at times he does bounce off the walls, can't sit still, etc. He pretty much has spent most of his life demonstrating his frustrations and angers towards himself or just destroying something. I cannot tell you how many video game controllers I have replaced in his lifetime (which is funny because I had the same controllers to my original Atari until I sold it a few years ago). It took me until he was in 7th grade to even get him qualified for Special Education at school. The counselor that evaluated him informed me that he was very very intelligent but had missed out on some basic building blocks in his education, but had also developed coping skills for the missing parts.</p><p></p><p>Granted, living with me has not always been easy. I have issues with staying put in one area for any length of time because I like to be on-the-go so much. I also have a daughter who is 4 years older than my son. She has always managed to adapt and I feel will be successful in life. My son, on the other hand, has not done well with all my changes. Unfortunately, I have been married a few different times. It seems that my children and my former spouses did not always seem to see eye to eye, and I always felt the need to defend my children with ultimately led to the demise of quite a few relationships and 3 marriages. I have now, once again, remarried and my current husband is FANTASTIC! He is so supportive of me and loves my children.</p><p></p><p>In the last year, my son has developed quite nicely. I was so happy because he was finely developing some social skills and seemed to be interested in some of the things a normal 14/15 year old would be interested in. He will be 16 next month. However, he has no interest in getting his driver's license (and I'm grateful because I don't feel he is mature enough to have one). But I find that strange. He also has suffered from truancy issues for MANY years. I just figured most of his truancy was because he just wanted to be with me. I also had come to the conclusion that the reason he was always calling home from school sick was to be with me. Oh...and the reason he constantly was getting into trouble at school was so they would send him home to be with me.</p><p></p><p>But all of a sudden in the last 2 months his behavior has changed! Instead of internally handling his frustrations, anger, and disappointments he is taking it out on others. It started when he shoved his Biology teacher at school. This teacher was, and I say was because he is no longer, my son's biggest advocate. Then he dunked my 2 year old grandson in the bathtub and stated he did it because he was angry. (I'm grateful that he didn't hold him under the water.) Then he made suicidal threats at school and kicked our next door neighbor in the testicles at school all on the same day! He is attending a behavior modification school because after pushing his teacher, the "normal" school does not want him there. Two days ago he started back to school after spring break and had to serve a day in ISS right off the bat because of kicking our neighbor (he also attends the same school). The morning started off well, and then I got the call. They were suspending him because he threatened another student with a pair of scissors. I was devastated. </p><p></p><p>I came to the conclusion that all this new behavior was not good. So I immediately picked him up from school and took him directly to the mental health facility in our town. They decided to admit him. While there and waiting to be transferred to the adolescent facility, he actually punched holes in the wall of the room they were holding him in. Now, not only am I in shock over his behavior, but I am also completely embarrassed because I did not raise him to be this way.</p><p></p><p>So I get the call yesterday from the psychiatric nurse practitioner that took his case. She said he doesn't have ADHD at all. (I discovered this years ago.....) He now has a new diagnosis though and it isn't promising. He was diagnosed with Conduct Disorder. I was now completely devastated and at the lowest point of my life. I am raising a possible future serial killer.</p><p></p><p>I am having some inner battles now. One, I feel so damn guilty for raising a child this way. Everyone, of course, keeps telling me it is not my fault. But I did bring him into this world, and this world has not been easy for either of us. At home, all of our children are living there except my daughter. So we have a 26 yr old, 25 yr old and his girlfriend and her 3 children, a 23 yr old and her boyfriend and their 2 children. By the time you throw in my husband, me and my son we have a total of 13 people living in the house currently. And yes, some days it's a zoo. But we have streamlined everything that the ship runs pretty smoothly on most days. You get what you get for having 5 grandchildren under the age of 5 though and it can be a little nerve racking. </p><p></p><p>My son's rage at home seems to all stem from the 23 yr old and her family. So now I'm forced to having make a decision on forcing her out of the house or having a keep a constant eye on my son to keep him from harming her children.</p><p></p><p>Oh and now my son wants to burn down the school he is attending because they have all lied about his behavior at school....just thought I'd throw that out there.</p><p></p><p>I am trying to look at today as a new day. I'm hoping that my mom, daughter, and myself can get an appointment at the facility today to discuss possibilities with him. </p><p></p><p>I just don't know where I went wrong <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ItSnowed, post: 518320, member: 14256"] So to make a really long story short.....at the age of 3 my son was diagnosed with ADHD. They tried to get me to medicate him then, but I just assumed little boys should run around and play, climb on things, take things apart, etc..... I refused medication at the time. We had gone to see a psychiatrist at the time because I had seen several behaviors (scratching at his face when frustrated until open wounds occurred, destructiveness such as cutting everything up in the middle of the night with scissors {including cutting his sister's hair off}). He is now 15. We have gone through life believing the ADHD diagnosis because at times he does bounce off the walls, can't sit still, etc. He pretty much has spent most of his life demonstrating his frustrations and angers towards himself or just destroying something. I cannot tell you how many video game controllers I have replaced in his lifetime (which is funny because I had the same controllers to my original Atari until I sold it a few years ago). It took me until he was in 7th grade to even get him qualified for Special Education at school. The counselor that evaluated him informed me that he was very very intelligent but had missed out on some basic building blocks in his education, but had also developed coping skills for the missing parts. Granted, living with me has not always been easy. I have issues with staying put in one area for any length of time because I like to be on-the-go so much. I also have a daughter who is 4 years older than my son. She has always managed to adapt and I feel will be successful in life. My son, on the other hand, has not done well with all my changes. Unfortunately, I have been married a few different times. It seems that my children and my former spouses did not always seem to see eye to eye, and I always felt the need to defend my children with ultimately led to the demise of quite a few relationships and 3 marriages. I have now, once again, remarried and my current husband is FANTASTIC! He is so supportive of me and loves my children. In the last year, my son has developed quite nicely. I was so happy because he was finely developing some social skills and seemed to be interested in some of the things a normal 14/15 year old would be interested in. He will be 16 next month. However, he has no interest in getting his driver's license (and I'm grateful because I don't feel he is mature enough to have one). But I find that strange. He also has suffered from truancy issues for MANY years. I just figured most of his truancy was because he just wanted to be with me. I also had come to the conclusion that the reason he was always calling home from school sick was to be with me. Oh...and the reason he constantly was getting into trouble at school was so they would send him home to be with me. But all of a sudden in the last 2 months his behavior has changed! Instead of internally handling his frustrations, anger, and disappointments he is taking it out on others. It started when he shoved his Biology teacher at school. This teacher was, and I say was because he is no longer, my son's biggest advocate. Then he dunked my 2 year old grandson in the bathtub and stated he did it because he was angry. (I'm grateful that he didn't hold him under the water.) Then he made suicidal threats at school and kicked our next door neighbor in the testicles at school all on the same day! He is attending a behavior modification school because after pushing his teacher, the "normal" school does not want him there. Two days ago he started back to school after spring break and had to serve a day in ISS right off the bat because of kicking our neighbor (he also attends the same school). The morning started off well, and then I got the call. They were suspending him because he threatened another student with a pair of scissors. I was devastated. I came to the conclusion that all this new behavior was not good. So I immediately picked him up from school and took him directly to the mental health facility in our town. They decided to admit him. While there and waiting to be transferred to the adolescent facility, he actually punched holes in the wall of the room they were holding him in. Now, not only am I in shock over his behavior, but I am also completely embarrassed because I did not raise him to be this way. So I get the call yesterday from the psychiatric nurse practitioner that took his case. She said he doesn't have ADHD at all. (I discovered this years ago.....) He now has a new diagnosis though and it isn't promising. He was diagnosed with Conduct Disorder. I was now completely devastated and at the lowest point of my life. I am raising a possible future serial killer. I am having some inner battles now. One, I feel so damn guilty for raising a child this way. Everyone, of course, keeps telling me it is not my fault. But I did bring him into this world, and this world has not been easy for either of us. At home, all of our children are living there except my daughter. So we have a 26 yr old, 25 yr old and his girlfriend and her 3 children, a 23 yr old and her boyfriend and their 2 children. By the time you throw in my husband, me and my son we have a total of 13 people living in the house currently. And yes, some days it's a zoo. But we have streamlined everything that the ship runs pretty smoothly on most days. You get what you get for having 5 grandchildren under the age of 5 though and it can be a little nerve racking. My son's rage at home seems to all stem from the 23 yr old and her family. So now I'm forced to having make a decision on forcing her out of the house or having a keep a constant eye on my son to keep him from harming her children. Oh and now my son wants to burn down the school he is attending because they have all lied about his behavior at school....just thought I'd throw that out there. I am trying to look at today as a new day. I'm hoping that my mom, daughter, and myself can get an appointment at the facility today to discuss possibilities with him. I just don't know where I went wrong :( [/QUOTE]
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