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<blockquote data-quote="maril" data-source="post: 225141" data-attributes="member: 5937"><p>Welcome, Ellen. It is heartbreaking to go through this. </p><p> </p><p>To quote you, "My difficult child is a 15 year old former honor student who has moprhed into an oppositional, drug using, school avoiding, failing, physically and verbally violent rule breaker." Except for the honor student part and age, that quote could be a description of my difficult child. </p><p> </p><p>What options do you have as far as assistance for the type of treatment you are seeking (for example, social services as mentioned above)?</p><p> </p><p>We have been keeping things pretty restricted around here directly related to his behavior: We lock doors after curfew (took his house key), hide my car keys, suspended his driving privileges (he is still on a learner's permit), inventory any alcohol (we are not big drinkers but have some alcohol around), lock my and husband's bedroom door, have every person he hangs with/plus his girlfriend/plus her mother's number saved in my cellphone, which I have had to use on a number of occasions when he avoids me. </p><p> </p><p>difficult child still does get together with his friends and girlfriend; can't physically stop him. I do like his girlfriend and think she is a positive influence. Luckily, we do have a say in giving him "fun money" and "rides" and deal with his rule breaking by holding off on those. Also, I rarely give him cash for necessities -- instead, I give him gift cards, checks, or pay for things he needs with me in attendance. He is looking for a job, so that is a good thing (had heard last summer when he was working that he is a good worker, respectful, etc., so you just never know...)</p><p> </p><p>We have also sought intervention over the years with school, doctors, and therapists. In addition, difficult child always kept busy outside of school with sports (up until the beginning of this year). All of these things have been marginally effective. But, I am thankful that we had those opportunities, anyway! He is also currently suspended from a drug and alcohol outpatient program for repeatedly leaving the building during break time (leaving is against the rules). He can reapply in 30 days.</p><p> </p><p>It might be a long road (but I hope it is not). Hang in there and take care of yourself. <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/goodluck.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":goodluck:" title="goodluck :goodluck:" data-shortname=":goodluck:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="maril, post: 225141, member: 5937"] Welcome, Ellen. It is heartbreaking to go through this. To quote you, "My difficult child is a 15 year old former honor student who has moprhed into an oppositional, drug using, school avoiding, failing, physically and verbally violent rule breaker." Except for the honor student part and age, that quote could be a description of my difficult child. What options do you have as far as assistance for the type of treatment you are seeking (for example, social services as mentioned above)? We have been keeping things pretty restricted around here directly related to his behavior: We lock doors after curfew (took his house key), hide my car keys, suspended his driving privileges (he is still on a learner's permit), inventory any alcohol (we are not big drinkers but have some alcohol around), lock my and husband's bedroom door, have every person he hangs with/plus his girlfriend/plus her mother's number saved in my cellphone, which I have had to use on a number of occasions when he avoids me. difficult child still does get together with his friends and girlfriend; can't physically stop him. I do like his girlfriend and think she is a positive influence. Luckily, we do have a say in giving him "fun money" and "rides" and deal with his rule breaking by holding off on those. Also, I rarely give him cash for necessities -- instead, I give him gift cards, checks, or pay for things he needs with me in attendance. He is looking for a job, so that is a good thing (had heard last summer when he was working that he is a good worker, respectful, etc., so you just never know...) We have also sought intervention over the years with school, doctors, and therapists. In addition, difficult child always kept busy outside of school with sports (up until the beginning of this year). All of these things have been marginally effective. But, I am thankful that we had those opportunities, anyway! He is also currently suspended from a drug and alcohol outpatient program for repeatedly leaving the building during break time (leaving is against the rules). He can reapply in 30 days. It might be a long road (but I hope it is not). Hang in there and take care of yourself. :goodluck: [/QUOTE]
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