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General Parenting
New here...any other step-parents??? This is long...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 310623" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there.</p><p></p><p>My hub was the stepfather, but I can shed a little insight.These two are a bonded, lifelong package deal.</p><p></p><p>SO and son...it is what it is. You can't change them, and he is the parent, not you. That won't change. You have a snapshot view of what life with them will be like. I strongly urge you to all seek counseling before EVER getting married. And also if you don't love this little boy, it's may better not to stay involved. For the most part, adults pick their kids over SO's and this boy IS mentally ill. You can't compare him to your nieces and nephews who aren't. Your sister is lucky she doesn't have a differently wired child because they don't respond even the best intentions/parenting.</p><p></p><p>Did his mother drink while she was pregnant? That could have resulted in brain damage.</p><p></p><p>At any rate, I feel for you, but you need to think long and hard about sticking this out as it is unlikely to get better and the boy will be a part of your life forever. I think SO should stop worrying about his love life for now and refrain from bringing live-in girlfriend's into the house while the focus should be on stabilizing his son. If it were one woman ok, but two more before you and two more kids? That is so bad for SS. These relationships are probably making the child even worse. I won't go into what I think of him as a father. He can date without doing the live-in bit, however I wonder if he is more concerned with his romantic life than helping this child.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the board<img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 310623, member: 1550"] Hi there. My hub was the stepfather, but I can shed a little insight.These two are a bonded, lifelong package deal. SO and son...it is what it is. You can't change them, and he is the parent, not you. That won't change. You have a snapshot view of what life with them will be like. I strongly urge you to all seek counseling before EVER getting married. And also if you don't love this little boy, it's may better not to stay involved. For the most part, adults pick their kids over SO's and this boy IS mentally ill. You can't compare him to your nieces and nephews who aren't. Your sister is lucky she doesn't have a differently wired child because they don't respond even the best intentions/parenting. Did his mother drink while she was pregnant? That could have resulted in brain damage. At any rate, I feel for you, but you need to think long and hard about sticking this out as it is unlikely to get better and the boy will be a part of your life forever. I think SO should stop worrying about his love life for now and refrain from bringing live-in girlfriend's into the house while the focus should be on stabilizing his son. If it were one woman ok, but two more before you and two more kids? That is so bad for SS. These relationships are probably making the child even worse. I won't go into what I think of him as a father. He can date without doing the live-in bit, however I wonder if he is more concerned with his romantic life than helping this child. Welcome to the board:raspberry-tounge: [/QUOTE]
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