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New here...any other step-parents??? This is long...
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 310800" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Hi! Welcome. I think I remember your situation from before.</p><p></p><p>The situation sounds bizarre. Your SO really sounds like he has some sort of autistic spectrum disorder. Many people who are on the spectrum are social. </p><p></p><p>He also may be suffering from depression or some other form of mental illness. He sure doe not seem "right", in my opinion.</p><p></p><p>Not sure how you got into this mess so deeply, but I assume financial issues are what is keeping you tied to this man and his strange situation.</p><p></p><p>I also would assume the grandparents encouraged the back and forth arrangement because they were nervous about what would happen to the child. It sure seems like there is a LOT of room for serious problems to happen if the child stays at home with a father who has no clue. The difficult child probably has them buffaloed into compliance with whatever he wants. They probably have NO idea what to do with their own son, much less their grandson. So, like you, they are doing the best they can.</p><p></p><p>To be totally honest, you really NEED to figure out a way to get out of this lifestyle. Maybe you could stay with your sister and help with her kids? Almost anything would seem safer than life with the SO and SS.</p><p></p><p>You have used several roadblocks to help keep yourself in the thick of things. "I would leave, but....." and </p><p>I know I cannot change anything but...."</p><p></p><p>The but's are what is trapping you. You need to stop just before the but is said. If you change your thinking you may find solutions that you never thought were possible.</p><p></p><p>Your SS's life will not change in the near future. Maybe not ever. It is hard to accept, but it is true. SO may even resent you for the things you have already tried. </p><p></p><p>It really is time to step back and do what you can to enjoy life while living with the situation the way it is.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 310800, member: 1233"] Hi! Welcome. I think I remember your situation from before. The situation sounds bizarre. Your SO really sounds like he has some sort of autistic spectrum disorder. Many people who are on the spectrum are social. He also may be suffering from depression or some other form of mental illness. He sure doe not seem "right", in my opinion. Not sure how you got into this mess so deeply, but I assume financial issues are what is keeping you tied to this man and his strange situation. I also would assume the grandparents encouraged the back and forth arrangement because they were nervous about what would happen to the child. It sure seems like there is a LOT of room for serious problems to happen if the child stays at home with a father who has no clue. The difficult child probably has them buffaloed into compliance with whatever he wants. They probably have NO idea what to do with their own son, much less their grandson. So, like you, they are doing the best they can. To be totally honest, you really NEED to figure out a way to get out of this lifestyle. Maybe you could stay with your sister and help with her kids? Almost anything would seem safer than life with the SO and SS. You have used several roadblocks to help keep yourself in the thick of things. "I would leave, but....." and I know I cannot change anything but...." The but's are what is trapping you. You need to stop just before the but is said. If you change your thinking you may find solutions that you never thought were possible. Your SS's life will not change in the near future. Maybe not ever. It is hard to accept, but it is true. SO may even resent you for the things you have already tried. It really is time to step back and do what you can to enjoy life while living with the situation the way it is. [/QUOTE]
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