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new here-forgot to introduce myself (and really need some suggestions!!)
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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 167268" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Reallytrying, </p><p>wow, does that bring back memories! My son really had a thing about controlling what went on in the car. *I* could whistle and sing but his sister could not. *He* could scream but we could not. You get the idea. After talking with-our child psychiatric, he taught us how to do desensitization, but it works better when you do not have a toddler or baby in the car so they don't get beaten up on. It takes a while--days or wks--and it's in the same category with-taking a fake trip to the grocery store, so you can bail out the instant your difficult child throws a fit, or rerouting your errands just to show him/her that the world will not end if your routes are changed.</p><p>I worried that things like that would send my son over the edge, but the dr assured me that he had worked in a psychiatric hospital and knew the diff between a kid that would go over the edge or not. He was right. (Boy are we lucky!)</p><p>One thing I did (all on my own--a flash of brilliance) was to take turns letting the kids talk in the car on the way home from school. I learned that if I gave them ea five min, it would just cause a fight. It had to be everything or nothing because with-a difficult child, that's how their minds work. So one day, much to my easy child's surprise, I announced that only difficult child could talk all the way home. She was surprised but she kept quiet. (See, that's the diff between a regular kid and a difficult child, LOL!) He was caught so off-guard that he wasted the first 10 min. in total silence. Finally, after realizing he really did have a captive audience, he opened up and chatted happily all the way home. When we got home, I told them that that the next day it would be easy child's turn. No exceptions. difficult child was VERY good about it.</p><p> </p><p>You have to really think outside the box with-these kids!</p><p> </p><p>I'm thinking with-the food issue, you may want to pick one food to incl with-ea meal that your difficult child likes, and then tell her in advance that if she takes just one tiny bite of everything else on her plate, you will let her pick out one food that she loves, that everyone else has to take one tiny bite of. It's that control thing that they love. This might be a good combo of "eat what's placed in front of you" and The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. We often integrate his ideas with-our own.</p><p> </p><p>Losttheplot, I love the idea of earmuffs! I can see how noises would affect your son, being on the autism spectrum like that. Sigh. Why they get violent like that is beyond me. I'm tempted to email an adult aspie, maybe the one who wrote Look Me in the Eye, and ask, although he mostly just hid in his bedroom.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 167268, member: 3419"] Reallytrying, wow, does that bring back memories! My son really had a thing about controlling what went on in the car. *I* could whistle and sing but his sister could not. *He* could scream but we could not. You get the idea. After talking with-our child psychiatric, he taught us how to do desensitization, but it works better when you do not have a toddler or baby in the car so they don't get beaten up on. It takes a while--days or wks--and it's in the same category with-taking a fake trip to the grocery store, so you can bail out the instant your difficult child throws a fit, or rerouting your errands just to show him/her that the world will not end if your routes are changed. I worried that things like that would send my son over the edge, but the dr assured me that he had worked in a psychiatric hospital and knew the diff between a kid that would go over the edge or not. He was right. (Boy are we lucky!) One thing I did (all on my own--a flash of brilliance) was to take turns letting the kids talk in the car on the way home from school. I learned that if I gave them ea five min, it would just cause a fight. It had to be everything or nothing because with-a difficult child, that's how their minds work. So one day, much to my easy child's surprise, I announced that only difficult child could talk all the way home. She was surprised but she kept quiet. (See, that's the diff between a regular kid and a difficult child, LOL!) He was caught so off-guard that he wasted the first 10 min. in total silence. Finally, after realizing he really did have a captive audience, he opened up and chatted happily all the way home. When we got home, I told them that that the next day it would be easy child's turn. No exceptions. difficult child was VERY good about it. You have to really think outside the box with-these kids! I'm thinking with-the food issue, you may want to pick one food to incl with-ea meal that your difficult child likes, and then tell her in advance that if she takes just one tiny bite of everything else on her plate, you will let her pick out one food that she loves, that everyone else has to take one tiny bite of. It's that control thing that they love. This might be a good combo of "eat what's placed in front of you" and The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. We often integrate his ideas with-our own. Losttheplot, I love the idea of earmuffs! I can see how noises would affect your son, being on the autism spectrum like that. Sigh. Why they get violent like that is beyond me. I'm tempted to email an adult aspie, maybe the one who wrote Look Me in the Eye, and ask, although he mostly just hid in his bedroom. [/QUOTE]
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