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<blockquote data-quote="TheBoyHasArrived" data-source="post: 544337" data-attributes="member: 14829"><p>These behaviors sound like my son's (adopted at 5.5). He has other issues as well (Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), severe language impairment, cog. issues, etc.), but the complete inability to delay gratification is causing most of his day to day drama at the moment. Some days, he is "okay" with hearing no or wait. Most days, he instantly flies off the handle if he isn't given whatever he wants the moment it pops into his head. We considered that it was related to ADHD/impulsivity...and I think that feeds into how quickly he reacts. But, for him, we think it is related to early deprivation/PTSD type reaction. The second he is upset about not getting something or being able to do something, he doesn't pause to consider that he will get to have a treat later or eventually get to watch that movie, etc. His brain immediately flips the switch that he is NEVER going to eat again or NEVER going to see his favorite toy, and he just reacts with that fight/flight response. For K, it's almost always fight <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> The rational part of his brain just shuts off.</p><p></p><p> We say yes as much as humanly possible, particularly in public. "Yes, you can have that cookie AFTER dinner." Or, if we have to say no, jumping on the "Good job listening to No!" It absolutely does not always work, but it's all we've come up with so far since he doesn't have the language to explain much more. Since your daughter has a typical IQ, you might be able to come up with a more complex system. From what I've read, if it's related decreased emotional regulation, stretching neutral or positive moods in typically stressful situations is the first line of defense. We haven't made it past the "first line" yet, so I'm not sure what comes next <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p> We're pretty early into this, but that's our current opinion after reading/researching/observing/documenting behaviors. As you know, those first 36 months have a lot to do with changing brain chemistry, etc. I'm not saying it's the problem--we're not even positive it's the reason behind my son's issues--but it's a possibility. I have a lot of ODD kiddos via work, and I agree with a lot of the other posters in that the diagnosis really doesn't give you much information and ends up being a catch all for a lot of docs.</p><p></p><p> ETA: The neuro-psychiatric evaluation is a great idea. If you can find a clinic that includes a team approach, I found ours to be very informative. The psychiatric and developmental pediatrician were informative, but the doctor that we felt gave the most accurate description of my son was the pediatric neurologist who was part of the team.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheBoyHasArrived, post: 544337, member: 14829"] These behaviors sound like my son's (adopted at 5.5). He has other issues as well (Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), severe language impairment, cog. issues, etc.), but the complete inability to delay gratification is causing most of his day to day drama at the moment. Some days, he is "okay" with hearing no or wait. Most days, he instantly flies off the handle if he isn't given whatever he wants the moment it pops into his head. We considered that it was related to ADHD/impulsivity...and I think that feeds into how quickly he reacts. But, for him, we think it is related to early deprivation/PTSD type reaction. The second he is upset about not getting something or being able to do something, he doesn't pause to consider that he will get to have a treat later or eventually get to watch that movie, etc. His brain immediately flips the switch that he is NEVER going to eat again or NEVER going to see his favorite toy, and he just reacts with that fight/flight response. For K, it's almost always fight :) The rational part of his brain just shuts off. We say yes as much as humanly possible, particularly in public. "Yes, you can have that cookie AFTER dinner." Or, if we have to say no, jumping on the "Good job listening to No!" It absolutely does not always work, but it's all we've come up with so far since he doesn't have the language to explain much more. Since your daughter has a typical IQ, you might be able to come up with a more complex system. From what I've read, if it's related decreased emotional regulation, stretching neutral or positive moods in typically stressful situations is the first line of defense. We haven't made it past the "first line" yet, so I'm not sure what comes next :) We're pretty early into this, but that's our current opinion after reading/researching/observing/documenting behaviors. As you know, those first 36 months have a lot to do with changing brain chemistry, etc. I'm not saying it's the problem--we're not even positive it's the reason behind my son's issues--but it's a possibility. I have a lot of ODD kiddos via work, and I agree with a lot of the other posters in that the diagnosis really doesn't give you much information and ends up being a catch all for a lot of docs. ETA: The neuro-psychiatric evaluation is a great idea. If you can find a clinic that includes a team approach, I found ours to be very informative. The psychiatric and developmental pediatrician were informative, but the doctor that we felt gave the most accurate description of my son was the pediatric neurologist who was part of the team. [/QUOTE]
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