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New here - How do you cope?
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<blockquote data-quote="sosotired" data-source="post: 259759" data-attributes="member: 7045"><p>Jungleland, klmno, earthprowler, lizanne2, Thanks for the support. This site has helped tremendously just knowing others are going through the same things.</p><p> </p><p>1 day at a time, Thanks for the book recommendation. I've heard of the book before and thought I had it at home. I have "The Difficult Child" and "No more meltdowns" which was recommended by his psychiatrist. I'm ordering "The Explosive Child" now!</p><p> </p><p>Busywend, I can SOOO relate to appreciating a "meltdown free day". I am sick of friends and family saying "there's nothing wrong with him, you're an overreactive mother" then when he acts out, it's due to my poor parenting. I was trying to relate to my mother that he has no understanding of social status, i.e. he thinks he's on the same level as adults and those with authority. She asked when I missed the boat on teaching him respect.</p><p> </p><p>Timer lady, Thanks for the advice. I wish I had some way to find time for myself. Dad walked out of the picture a few years back, I have no family nearby and few friends considering difficult child's behavior issues. Even running to the grocery store alone is a welcome break however invariably I get a phone call from easy child or difficult child.</p><p> </p><p>Kjs, this is what I'm dealing with in elementary. I'm constantly on the defense as he's branded the "troublemaker". I can only imagine the vindication in telling the school he was home sick!!</p><p> </p><p>artana, I have been told ADHD doesn't qualify him for an IEP. The only testing he's been provided by the school is speech and they didn't test any areas I would have expected. I have no idea whether a 504 is ok or not or if I should fight for an IEP. I am loathe to take the school on because I have been blindsided and threateded so many times and don't know the game. This school district is notorious for playing hardball. I struck up a conversation with a few other moms while waiting for difficult child at the psychiatrists office and all of them knew the district and knew it was a constant fight to get anything done. Being a single mom with no support I'm barely keeping my head above water now. Not an acceptable answer but an honest one.</p><p> </p><p>Marg, Thank you for the words of wisdom. I assume the book you refer to in your post is "The explosive child" mentioned earlier. It's on it's way from Amazon now! I just started the diary this week since we added the new medication to the mix and will keep it updated faithfully. I totally get he's behind his peers however the friends issue is so difficult for him. As soon as he makes a friend, he acts out (either inapporpriate or immature) and they dump him. He sees the other kids his age riding their bikes, going over to each others houses and I can't let him. He has friends to our house so I can supervise but they are very few and far between and almost invariably want nothing to do with him eventually. I have also been working with him on accepting his "disability". I have taken his glasses from him and asked if he could see a sign. He says no. I gave his glasses back and asked if he could see now. He said yes. I asked him if it would be fair if I didn't get the glasses for him. He said of course not, he needs them to see. I explained this is the same with his medication and that although his eyes were different from mine, since I don't wear glasses, they weren't "bad" or "defective", they're just different then mine, just as his brain is wired a little different.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="sosotired, post: 259759, member: 7045"] Jungleland, klmno, earthprowler, lizanne2, Thanks for the support. This site has helped tremendously just knowing others are going through the same things. 1 day at a time, Thanks for the book recommendation. I've heard of the book before and thought I had it at home. I have "The Difficult Child" and "No more meltdowns" which was recommended by his psychiatrist. I'm ordering "The Explosive Child" now! Busywend, I can SOOO relate to appreciating a "meltdown free day". I am sick of friends and family saying "there's nothing wrong with him, you're an overreactive mother" then when he acts out, it's due to my poor parenting. I was trying to relate to my mother that he has no understanding of social status, i.e. he thinks he's on the same level as adults and those with authority. She asked when I missed the boat on teaching him respect. Timer lady, Thanks for the advice. I wish I had some way to find time for myself. Dad walked out of the picture a few years back, I have no family nearby and few friends considering difficult child's behavior issues. Even running to the grocery store alone is a welcome break however invariably I get a phone call from easy child or difficult child. Kjs, this is what I'm dealing with in elementary. I'm constantly on the defense as he's branded the "troublemaker". I can only imagine the vindication in telling the school he was home sick!! artana, I have been told ADHD doesn't qualify him for an IEP. The only testing he's been provided by the school is speech and they didn't test any areas I would have expected. I have no idea whether a 504 is ok or not or if I should fight for an IEP. I am loathe to take the school on because I have been blindsided and threateded so many times and don't know the game. This school district is notorious for playing hardball. I struck up a conversation with a few other moms while waiting for difficult child at the psychiatrists office and all of them knew the district and knew it was a constant fight to get anything done. Being a single mom with no support I'm barely keeping my head above water now. Not an acceptable answer but an honest one. Marg, Thank you for the words of wisdom. I assume the book you refer to in your post is "The explosive child" mentioned earlier. It's on it's way from Amazon now! I just started the diary this week since we added the new medication to the mix and will keep it updated faithfully. I totally get he's behind his peers however the friends issue is so difficult for him. As soon as he makes a friend, he acts out (either inapporpriate or immature) and they dump him. He sees the other kids his age riding their bikes, going over to each others houses and I can't let him. He has friends to our house so I can supervise but they are very few and far between and almost invariably want nothing to do with him eventually. I have also been working with him on accepting his "disability". I have taken his glasses from him and asked if he could see a sign. He says no. I gave his glasses back and asked if he could see now. He said yes. I asked him if it would be fair if I didn't get the glasses for him. He said of course not, he needs them to see. I explained this is the same with his medication and that although his eyes were different from mine, since I don't wear glasses, they weren't "bad" or "defective", they're just different then mine, just as his brain is wired a little different. [/QUOTE]
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