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New here- is there ever an uphill??
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 627603" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Are you 100% sure your son did not lose weight by using drugs? This is a common and scary way to lose weight, but a lot of lyoung people do it. Did she see him watching his diet and working out or did the weight just magically seem to come off? Meth makes people lose weight. So do all of the ADHD drugs. </p><p></p><p>Do you live in the US? I ask because most of our kids couldn't give a rat's about the state of the world. At any rate, no matter where you live, I would tell you son, and tell him only one time, "It is fine that you have these concerns, but they are YOUR concerns. You have your life and your choices an d you can not affect anyone's life choices except your own." Thereafter, if he starts ragging at you about these things, Iwould just tune him out or make excuses to go out and leave him to chill. I strongly recommend reading the book "Boundaries" by Townstead and Cloud, even if you're not religious. Your son is seriously crossing YOUR boundaries by telling you how to live, how to eat, where to work, etc. He has a right to live his life your way, but not to try to control YOUR life, which is seperate to him, even though you gave birth to him.</p><p></p><p>I would not even bother engaging his talk as our difficult children are not rational, never give up, and use these verbal attacks to villify us, make us feel guilty and keep us supporting them, way past the age when they should be out of the house and on their own.I think that all of our difficult children use this tactic. How dare they! They still live off of us. How dare he tell you how to live in YOUR home and in YOUR life. It is your private decision how to live.</p><p></p><p>Look carefully into whether or not your son is now involved in drugs. You may find him too difficult to live with you anymore. You have that option, even if he has to think on his feet for the first time ever and figure out how to take care of any mental health issues he has and how to get a place to live without relying on you.</p><p></p><p>Another good book is "Codependent No More" by Melody Beatty. </p><p></p><p>You can not fix your son nor should you try and his treatment...he needs to be responsible for it. You don't really know what is going on with that.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting mommy heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 627603, member: 1550"] Are you 100% sure your son did not lose weight by using drugs? This is a common and scary way to lose weight, but a lot of lyoung people do it. Did she see him watching his diet and working out or did the weight just magically seem to come off? Meth makes people lose weight. So do all of the ADHD drugs. Do you live in the US? I ask because most of our kids couldn't give a rat's about the state of the world. At any rate, no matter where you live, I would tell you son, and tell him only one time, "It is fine that you have these concerns, but they are YOUR concerns. You have your life and your choices an d you can not affect anyone's life choices except your own." Thereafter, if he starts ragging at you about these things, Iwould just tune him out or make excuses to go out and leave him to chill. I strongly recommend reading the book "Boundaries" by Townstead and Cloud, even if you're not religious. Your son is seriously crossing YOUR boundaries by telling you how to live, how to eat, where to work, etc. He has a right to live his life your way, but not to try to control YOUR life, which is seperate to him, even though you gave birth to him. I would not even bother engaging his talk as our difficult children are not rational, never give up, and use these verbal attacks to villify us, make us feel guilty and keep us supporting them, way past the age when they should be out of the house and on their own.I think that all of our difficult children use this tactic. How dare they! They still live off of us. How dare he tell you how to live in YOUR home and in YOUR life. It is your private decision how to live. Look carefully into whether or not your son is now involved in drugs. You may find him too difficult to live with you anymore. You have that option, even if he has to think on his feet for the first time ever and figure out how to take care of any mental health issues he has and how to get a place to live without relying on you. Another good book is "Codependent No More" by Melody Beatty. You can not fix your son nor should you try and his treatment...he needs to be responsible for it. You don't really know what is going on with that. Hugs for your hurting mommy heart. [/QUOTE]
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