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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 487027" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Welcome.</p><p></p><p>I think I'm going to go out on a limb here (you'll discover I do that a lot around here!)...</p><p></p><p></p><p>Good question. Technically, it can go either way. But in my observation... more often it is a symptom. Until proven otherwise, I'd assume he's trying to self medicate... </p><p></p><p></p><p>Well... frequently (depending on who you talk to, that's anything from "some of the time" to "most of the time")... ODD is not the root of anything... it describes problem behaviors - and acknoledges that these exist. Fine. Now what? nope. nothing out there about what to do about ODD.</p><p></p><p>So... assume, as with substance abuse, that it is just another symptom.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Well... only if the root cause of the problem is family dynamics. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Then the best you can do now, is to figure out what IS wrong... what are the missing parts to this puzzle that is your difficult child? (more on that later)</p><p></p><p></p><p>DON'T GO THERE. Not yet, anyway.</p><p>Because... from my own experience? so many of these problems have at the root, a child that is missing a securely attached relationship.</p><p><strong><em>This is not your fault.</em></strong> </p><p>If this is indeed the case, then there will be a raft of OTHER things that have gone on for years, that have driven him away from you - and around the bend. But if attachment is an issue (and this will NOT be the classical attachment problem known as Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), so don't even go look it up...) then the <em>worst thing you can do is further detach yourself.</em></p><p></p><p>---</p><p>SO...</p><p>What on earth can be behind the attitude and behavior?</p><p></p><p>Can you tell us more about his early years? before he started school, the first grades, middle school?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 487027, member: 11791"] Welcome. I think I'm going to go out on a limb here (you'll discover I do that a lot around here!)... Good question. Technically, it can go either way. But in my observation... more often it is a symptom. Until proven otherwise, I'd assume he's trying to self medicate... Well... frequently (depending on who you talk to, that's anything from "some of the time" to "most of the time")... ODD is not the root of anything... it describes problem behaviors - and acknoledges that these exist. Fine. Now what? nope. nothing out there about what to do about ODD. So... assume, as with substance abuse, that it is just another symptom. Well... only if the root cause of the problem is family dynamics. Then the best you can do now, is to figure out what IS wrong... what are the missing parts to this puzzle that is your difficult child? (more on that later) DON'T GO THERE. Not yet, anyway. Because... from my own experience? so many of these problems have at the root, a child that is missing a securely attached relationship. [B][I]This is not your fault.[/I][/B] If this is indeed the case, then there will be a raft of OTHER things that have gone on for years, that have driven him away from you - and around the bend. But if attachment is an issue (and this will NOT be the classical attachment problem known as Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), so don't even go look it up...) then the [I]worst thing you can do is further detach yourself.[/I] --- SO... What on earth can be behind the attitude and behavior? Can you tell us more about his early years? before he started school, the first grades, middle school? [/QUOTE]
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