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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 325688" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>My first thought is always, when i hear of these situations, is that you are doing many things right. Are you living with your girlfriend and her kids and where is Mom? Does girlfriend act like mom and set rules for her? How does she feel about the other children? Spectrum kids do poorly with change and often don't see authority figures as people in charge. Rather they see them as peers. Regular discipline often does not work with spectrum kids (I have one).</p><p></p><p>My hub was a step (those kids are grown now) and it was very difficult for my kids and for him. But he didn't have any kids, so at least my kids didn't have that adjustment to make as well. That can cause problems with difficult children...stepfamilies tend to break up more than biological families. I saw why first hand. Hub had to back off and be more a friend than a parent and I parented my three kids with my ex. That worked really well. You may want to do that rather than have girlfriend as an authority figure which she may resent. That won't help her behavior...she could use it as a reason to rebel.</p><p></p><p>Also, can you please fill us in on some of her behaviors that bother you? When was the last time she was evaluated by a professional outside of school? Are there any psychiatric problems on either side of her family tree, including birthmother? Remember, she has half her genes. </p><p></p><p></p><p>Phew!!!! <img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/tongue.png" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":tongue:" title="tongue :tongue:" data-shortname=":tongue:" /> Um, others will come along soon.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 325688, member: 1550"] Hi there :) My first thought is always, when i hear of these situations, is that you are doing many things right. Are you living with your girlfriend and her kids and where is Mom? Does girlfriend act like mom and set rules for her? How does she feel about the other children? Spectrum kids do poorly with change and often don't see authority figures as people in charge. Rather they see them as peers. Regular discipline often does not work with spectrum kids (I have one). My hub was a step (those kids are grown now) and it was very difficult for my kids and for him. But he didn't have any kids, so at least my kids didn't have that adjustment to make as well. That can cause problems with difficult children...stepfamilies tend to break up more than biological families. I saw why first hand. Hub had to back off and be more a friend than a parent and I parented my three kids with my ex. That worked really well. You may want to do that rather than have girlfriend as an authority figure which she may resent. That won't help her behavior...she could use it as a reason to rebel. Also, can you please fill us in on some of her behaviors that bother you? When was the last time she was evaluated by a professional outside of school? Are there any psychiatric problems on either side of her family tree, including birthmother? Remember, she has half her genes. Phew!!!! :raspberry-tounge: Um, others will come along soon. [/QUOTE]
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