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Parent Emeritus
New here, need advice re wilderness
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<blockquote data-quote="AHF" data-source="post: 407641" data-attributes="member: 11180"><p>Thank you all so much. Now a related question. Today is Wednesday. He was to have gotten therapeutic support beginning 2 weeks ago in order to continue my support for his school situation. Last week the step-down people gave up on him and I said I would not pay dorm fees, food, etc. as he is not in a therapeutic environment and is therefore regressing (and probably failing one of the two courses that are his only activity right now). On Monday he called to ask what he could do to get my support. I told him he needed a therapeutic team in place immediately, that I didn't know what was available, that it was up to him to investigate and get back to me the next day. As of now, no further word. If you were in my shoes, would you:</p><p>1. Wait for him to call, and if it's this weekend and he calls to say he's had one visit with counseling center, say "too little too late"?</p><p>2. Contact him to tell him it's too late? Do so today, tomorrow, not till the weekend?</p><p>3. Confirm that I am here to support serious treatment or wilderness when he's ready, or just stay mute on that point?</p><p>I should point out that he will not get kicked out of the dorms or handed a bill he cannot pay. I have told the good people at the step-down program that I will make this good with the college they work with, so as not to injure those relations. The only immediate consequence for my son is that he will not get his computer back (they've been holding it as collateral until he works this all out with me), he may run out of food money, and he will not get back any of the money he put into his account at the step-down for spending $$ before it all fell apart. The ploy that my son will use is a "But you PROMISED" routine that's hard to stomach though easy to refute. I welcome feedback. Thanks.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AHF, post: 407641, member: 11180"] Thank you all so much. Now a related question. Today is Wednesday. He was to have gotten therapeutic support beginning 2 weeks ago in order to continue my support for his school situation. Last week the step-down people gave up on him and I said I would not pay dorm fees, food, etc. as he is not in a therapeutic environment and is therefore regressing (and probably failing one of the two courses that are his only activity right now). On Monday he called to ask what he could do to get my support. I told him he needed a therapeutic team in place immediately, that I didn't know what was available, that it was up to him to investigate and get back to me the next day. As of now, no further word. If you were in my shoes, would you: 1. Wait for him to call, and if it's this weekend and he calls to say he's had one visit with counseling center, say "too little too late"? 2. Contact him to tell him it's too late? Do so today, tomorrow, not till the weekend? 3. Confirm that I am here to support serious treatment or wilderness when he's ready, or just stay mute on that point? I should point out that he will not get kicked out of the dorms or handed a bill he cannot pay. I have told the good people at the step-down program that I will make this good with the college they work with, so as not to injure those relations. The only immediate consequence for my son is that he will not get his computer back (they've been holding it as collateral until he works this all out with me), he may run out of food money, and he will not get back any of the money he put into his account at the step-down for spending $$ before it all fell apart. The ploy that my son will use is a "But you PROMISED" routine that's hard to stomach though easy to refute. I welcome feedback. Thanks. [/QUOTE]
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