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new here..need help with violent difficult child, please help!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 585514" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>If he had a very chaotic early life, he probably has some sort of attachment disorder. Kids who hurt animals can be very dangerous. Does he also play with fire and pee/poop inappropriately? </p><p></p><p>Maybe you should start looking for out-of-home treatment for him to save your other kids from whatever he may do when you're not looking. And don't blame yourself. This kid was damaged before your husband ever met you and love doesn't do any good if a child has any attachment disorder. Did his bio. mom use drugs/alcohol when she was pregnant? That could be another factor.</p><p></p><p>I would not be at all surprised if this child is sexually abusing the younger kids and, no, they wouldn't tell you. This also means YOUR younger kids. Sadly, been there/done that. He is unsafe to live in a family. I adopted an 11 year old boy who was like that kid and we found out, three years after he started, that he was having sex with the younger kids. No, not just molesting them. Having sex. He threatened to kill us if any of them told on him so none of them did. You have this boy showing off his junk and walking in on your other kids. All I can say is don't believe nothing has gone on and get him out of there. You'll find out more about what he's doing when out of your sight once he is gone and not coming back. As big as he is, I'd be scared to death to have him there.</p><p></p><p>Reactive attachment disorder is much like a child sociopath as they stopped caring about people long, long ago when they were infants and toddlers and nobody cared about them. It's very sad (the reason they get this way), but it's too big for you to solve and too dangerous to take a chance on. When Mr. 11 first came to live with us he had NO diagnosis because he was so charming to adults, even his psychiatrist. When he left, his diagnosis was SEVERE Reactive Attachment Disorder. On top of my other kids, he had killed two dogs (probably other animals in the neighborhood), set matches and burned little spots in his rug and threatened to burn up the younger kids, and peed and pooped in our closets (we thought it was one of our dogs). So I do know what it's like to live with a child who, for lack of any better word, is acting like a sociopath. He never improved either, but he never came back to our family either.</p><p></p><p>Until he is gone, put heavy locks on everyone's door and insist they all use them so that this child can't get into their rooms and maybe put an alarm on HIS bedroom door in case he prowls around at night. You may want to ask your kids if he has molested them, but they may be too afraid to tell you if he did...at least until he is no longer living there and a threat.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 585514, member: 1550"] If he had a very chaotic early life, he probably has some sort of attachment disorder. Kids who hurt animals can be very dangerous. Does he also play with fire and pee/poop inappropriately? Maybe you should start looking for out-of-home treatment for him to save your other kids from whatever he may do when you're not looking. And don't blame yourself. This kid was damaged before your husband ever met you and love doesn't do any good if a child has any attachment disorder. Did his bio. mom use drugs/alcohol when she was pregnant? That could be another factor. I would not be at all surprised if this child is sexually abusing the younger kids and, no, they wouldn't tell you. This also means YOUR younger kids. Sadly, been there/done that. He is unsafe to live in a family. I adopted an 11 year old boy who was like that kid and we found out, three years after he started, that he was having sex with the younger kids. No, not just molesting them. Having sex. He threatened to kill us if any of them told on him so none of them did. You have this boy showing off his junk and walking in on your other kids. All I can say is don't believe nothing has gone on and get him out of there. You'll find out more about what he's doing when out of your sight once he is gone and not coming back. As big as he is, I'd be scared to death to have him there. Reactive attachment disorder is much like a child sociopath as they stopped caring about people long, long ago when they were infants and toddlers and nobody cared about them. It's very sad (the reason they get this way), but it's too big for you to solve and too dangerous to take a chance on. When Mr. 11 first came to live with us he had NO diagnosis because he was so charming to adults, even his psychiatrist. When he left, his diagnosis was SEVERE Reactive Attachment Disorder. On top of my other kids, he had killed two dogs (probably other animals in the neighborhood), set matches and burned little spots in his rug and threatened to burn up the younger kids, and peed and pooped in our closets (we thought it was one of our dogs). So I do know what it's like to live with a child who, for lack of any better word, is acting like a sociopath. He never improved either, but he never came back to our family either. Until he is gone, put heavy locks on everyone's door and insist they all use them so that this child can't get into their rooms and maybe put an alarm on HIS bedroom door in case he prowls around at night. You may want to ask your kids if he has molested them, but they may be too afraid to tell you if he did...at least until he is no longer living there and a threat. [/QUOTE]
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