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<blockquote data-quote="aeroeng" data-source="post: 353945" data-attributes="member: 6557"><p>I don't agree with what your Dr. says. Our difficult child always saved it for home. The same year he tore the house apart, had the entire police force looking for him, and made our lives a living hell was the same year he got 4 academic honor awards at school. Our Dr. explained that we should not feel that just because he can hold it together at school that he should be able to hold it together at home. That is not always true. He did state that we should find hope in it. He believed that those who could hold it together for part of the day would be more likely to be able to develop the skills needed to become a non-difficult child. I have upgraded difficult child to "recovering difficult child" because he really is trying to improve, and has, but more to go. </p><p></p><p>It does sound like more then ADHD. ADHD is attention and hyperactivity not behavior. Yes I agree he has a behavior issue, but they are often medical issues as well, and not just a choice. If believe that my difficult child would have chosen to behave better if he could, he just did not have the mental skills to manage his frustrations. Thus for him parent created consequences did not help, as he was already motivated to do well, he just could not control his feelings. For us working with the therapist to learn different ways of communicating, reflecting and working on his anger management skills were more helpful.</p><p></p><p>Also Aspergers does not mean one is not social, or wishes to be alone. It is more that they have troubles understanding social behavior. My own dear husband has no clue on social things and I believe he has Aspergers, but he is still a very social person and is quite loving.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="aeroeng, post: 353945, member: 6557"] I don't agree with what your Dr. says. Our difficult child always saved it for home. The same year he tore the house apart, had the entire police force looking for him, and made our lives a living hell was the same year he got 4 academic honor awards at school. Our Dr. explained that we should not feel that just because he can hold it together at school that he should be able to hold it together at home. That is not always true. He did state that we should find hope in it. He believed that those who could hold it together for part of the day would be more likely to be able to develop the skills needed to become a non-difficult child. I have upgraded difficult child to "recovering difficult child" because he really is trying to improve, and has, but more to go. It does sound like more then ADHD. ADHD is attention and hyperactivity not behavior. Yes I agree he has a behavior issue, but they are often medical issues as well, and not just a choice. If believe that my difficult child would have chosen to behave better if he could, he just did not have the mental skills to manage his frustrations. Thus for him parent created consequences did not help, as he was already motivated to do well, he just could not control his feelings. For us working with the therapist to learn different ways of communicating, reflecting and working on his anger management skills were more helpful. Also Aspergers does not mean one is not social, or wishes to be alone. It is more that they have troubles understanding social behavior. My own dear husband has no clue on social things and I believe he has Aspergers, but he is still a very social person and is quite loving. [/QUOTE]
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