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<blockquote data-quote="PonyGirl" data-source="post: 363647" data-attributes="member: 187"><p>First of all, <span style="font-size: 18px">WELCOME</span> <span style="font-size: 18px">Doddlin!!</span> Glad you found us, too. </p><p> </p><p>As far as the bio info at the bottom of our posts....someone correct me if I'm wrong, but up in the top left of the screen you should see a heading called My Profile. If you click that, you should see a box (kinda towards the bottom, I think) where you can type in your info. There should also be a place where you can toggle the answer to "Show my signature in my posts" or some such wording.</p><p> </p><p>Okay, to the guts of your post, let me say: I feel you girl! Sometimes I still struggle with activities with my extended family, due to my difficult child's antics. I know your pain of blaming yourself. Something is basically hard-wired in Moms that causes us to assume responsibility and blame for our kids wen they do wrong. I'm not sure what it is that makes us do that, but I've worked pretty hard to counter-act that instinct.</p><p> </p><p>One thing I can assure you, if you stick around with us here, many many others will offer you their experience, strength and hope. It WILL get better, with time. It takes practice to reverse those tapes in your head. But it can be done!! </p><p> </p><p>I think the best thing you can do for now is let go of your boys. Youngest is with his (so-called) Dad, leave him be. Eldest is couch-surfing and not starving, leave him to find his own way. He may tire of the insanity of his life without ADD medications, or he may decide he prefers being unmedicated. I suspect he is self-medicating with drugs & alcohol, and I believe no matter what steps you take to change that, he's the only one who can.</p><p> </p><p>It's unspeakably difficult to stand by and watch your kids make the wrong choices, and then even harder to allow them to face their own consequences. But that's what it is: Their choice, NOT yours; their consequences, NOT you who is to blame.</p><p> </p><p>As I said earlier, many others here will step in with thier own stories. Keep reading, keep checking back. And again, Welcome to our World <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite8" alt=":D" title="Big Grin :D" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":D" /></p><p> </p><p>Peace</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PonyGirl, post: 363647, member: 187"] First of all, [SIZE=5]WELCOME[/SIZE] [SIZE=5]Doddlin!![/SIZE] Glad you found us, too. As far as the bio info at the bottom of our posts....someone correct me if I'm wrong, but up in the top left of the screen you should see a heading called My Profile. If you click that, you should see a box (kinda towards the bottom, I think) where you can type in your info. There should also be a place where you can toggle the answer to "Show my signature in my posts" or some such wording. Okay, to the guts of your post, let me say: I feel you girl! Sometimes I still struggle with activities with my extended family, due to my difficult child's antics. I know your pain of blaming yourself. Something is basically hard-wired in Moms that causes us to assume responsibility and blame for our kids wen they do wrong. I'm not sure what it is that makes us do that, but I've worked pretty hard to counter-act that instinct. One thing I can assure you, if you stick around with us here, many many others will offer you their experience, strength and hope. It WILL get better, with time. It takes practice to reverse those tapes in your head. But it can be done!! I think the best thing you can do for now is let go of your boys. Youngest is with his (so-called) Dad, leave him be. Eldest is couch-surfing and not starving, leave him to find his own way. He may tire of the insanity of his life without ADD medications, or he may decide he prefers being unmedicated. I suspect he is self-medicating with drugs & alcohol, and I believe no matter what steps you take to change that, he's the only one who can. It's unspeakably difficult to stand by and watch your kids make the wrong choices, and then even harder to allow them to face their own consequences. But that's what it is: Their choice, NOT yours; their consequences, NOT you who is to blame. As I said earlier, many others here will step in with thier own stories. Keep reading, keep checking back. And again, Welcome to our World :happy: Peace [/QUOTE]
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