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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 364141" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hon, hey, I just want to reiterate that this is NOT your fault. Also, please don't give up hope. Very quickly (since everyone else knows this) I adopted a little girl from Korea as a baby and she started abusing drugs at TWELVE. Yes, twelve. I felt so much guilt because not only had we adopted her, but she had gone through my hub and I getting divorced, which made an insecure child less secure. But she STRAIGHTENED IT OUT! She is 26 now and doing so well that I cry when I think about her because your sons are actually doing better than she was. I thought she'd end up a criminal or dead. And I had no idea about her birthparents to know about genetics but even genetically challenged kids can turn it around. Detaching in my opinion is the way to go. And those FA meetings...heck, there is NOTHING like in person support and help. And I can't emphasis enough again to go on with YOUR life. Explore your hobbies, make new friends, get involved in church (if that's your thing), join a fitness class just for fun, don't give yourself time to feel guilty. You are there for your boys if they choose to turn it around. That's really all I did for my daughter...there was no miracle cure...it had to come from HER. </p><p></p><p>I love the serenity prayer. I have it attached to my computer and say it every morning when I wake up. There is more wisdom in the little poem than any advice anyone can give in my opinion. Take care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 364141, member: 1550"] Hon, hey, I just want to reiterate that this is NOT your fault. Also, please don't give up hope. Very quickly (since everyone else knows this) I adopted a little girl from Korea as a baby and she started abusing drugs at TWELVE. Yes, twelve. I felt so much guilt because not only had we adopted her, but she had gone through my hub and I getting divorced, which made an insecure child less secure. But she STRAIGHTENED IT OUT! She is 26 now and doing so well that I cry when I think about her because your sons are actually doing better than she was. I thought she'd end up a criminal or dead. And I had no idea about her birthparents to know about genetics but even genetically challenged kids can turn it around. Detaching in my opinion is the way to go. And those FA meetings...heck, there is NOTHING like in person support and help. And I can't emphasis enough again to go on with YOUR life. Explore your hobbies, make new friends, get involved in church (if that's your thing), join a fitness class just for fun, don't give yourself time to feel guilty. You are there for your boys if they choose to turn it around. That's really all I did for my daughter...there was no miracle cure...it had to come from HER. I love the serenity prayer. I have it attached to my computer and say it every morning when I wake up. There is more wisdom in the little poem than any advice anyone can give in my opinion. Take care. [/QUOTE]
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