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<blockquote data-quote="Doddlin" data-source="post: 364317"><p>MidwestMom - Thank you soooo much for your kind and WISE words. I'm sorry to hear of your struggle. It helps to know that I'm not alone... talking to you all as well as those at the FA meetings is helping me get through the day right now. I am understanding that my personal struggle mostly stems from my own childhood pain. I was abandoned by my Mother (left with the man that molested me and sisters, still married to him). I ran away myself at 15 due to physical and emotional abuse by stepmom after that. I have very little connection with either of my parents as a result of that history. I dreamed and worked very hard to build a life with my boys that would be different. I never wanted them to grow up with the pain I did. I also feel very rejected (I'm sure my feelings of abandonment are kicking in) by them right now. I feel like I tried to hard to make their lives wonderful. Maybe too much. I didn't think that could happen. You hear everyone tell you to keep them busy, be involved, love them, be consistent with discipline, etc. I worked at all that very hard. Now the result seems to be that like the rest of my family, they will fall away from my life too. Seems I am destined to be without a close family. Well, this seems to be what I am imagining and hurting from. I know I have to get over this self pity, but I just never envisioned I'd be going through this with my boys. We were so close, I just don't know what happened. </p><p>I am willing to work on myself right now and have taken those steps. I know that is the only thing I can change. My perfectionism isn't helping though. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>I am glad your daughter is doing well. That gives me hope. Are you close now?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Doddlin, post: 364317"] MidwestMom - Thank you soooo much for your kind and WISE words. I'm sorry to hear of your struggle. It helps to know that I'm not alone... talking to you all as well as those at the FA meetings is helping me get through the day right now. I am understanding that my personal struggle mostly stems from my own childhood pain. I was abandoned by my Mother (left with the man that molested me and sisters, still married to him). I ran away myself at 15 due to physical and emotional abuse by stepmom after that. I have very little connection with either of my parents as a result of that history. I dreamed and worked very hard to build a life with my boys that would be different. I never wanted them to grow up with the pain I did. I also feel very rejected (I'm sure my feelings of abandonment are kicking in) by them right now. I feel like I tried to hard to make their lives wonderful. Maybe too much. I didn't think that could happen. You hear everyone tell you to keep them busy, be involved, love them, be consistent with discipline, etc. I worked at all that very hard. Now the result seems to be that like the rest of my family, they will fall away from my life too. Seems I am destined to be without a close family. Well, this seems to be what I am imagining and hurting from. I know I have to get over this self pity, but I just never envisioned I'd be going through this with my boys. We were so close, I just don't know what happened. I am willing to work on myself right now and have taken those steps. I know that is the only thing I can change. My perfectionism isn't helping though. :-) I am glad your daughter is doing well. That gives me hope. Are you close now? [/QUOTE]
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